Ministry site:
Rwandan Gospel Centers
Kigali (pronounced chigali) and Bozansa, Rwanda
Host:
Pastor Moses and his family
What we did:
-Moved bricks for church build
-Led morning devotionals with women’s sewing ministry
-Participated in Bozansa community work day
-Preached
-Taught Sunday school
-Taught one of their Pastors some more guitar
– Shared testimonies and struggles with local churches
-Played music and took part in dance worship
Local language:
English, French and Key-Rwandan. Prior to the genocides English was not spoken but some Rwandans went to Uganda and brought English back with them.
Other things of note:
– We heard several times that Rwandans feel that we must have perfect lives as Muzungos. Moses told us that he always encourages teams to share their struggles because he thinks it’s important for his church and Rwandans to realize they’re not alone and that we have struggles that we need to rely on God to get us through as well.
– Church and worship is more lively in Rwanda. Every service includes dancing and shouting. This was true in Uganda and is proving to be true in Kenya as well (although Kenya is slightly more reserved).
– The impact of the Rwandan Genocides is still greatly felt. The end of the killings was in 1994; meaning that anyone alive 20 years ago survived them (with the exception of those that have immigrated into the country since then). Going to the memorial was perhaps one of the most powerful and sad things I’ve done. One of the women who worked at our host’s house is a genocide survivor. She and many of her family members were thrown into a pit latrine to die but she survived because she was able to climb out; she was the only survivor. There’s a lot of guilt on one side and a lot of fear and anger on the other. It’s extremely hard to believe the amount of violence that occurred and how little was done by the rest of the world. At the memorial they said that it’s believed that the amount of forces used to remove foreigners could have stopped the violence and only one American stayed through the violence. I was too young to know, but I wonder how much the world knew, in fact even realizes today.
And a personal note:
Rwanda was an interesting country for me. I asked God to show me His love this month and He taught me about it in ways that ended up being very hard. I spent a good part of the month feeling homesick, unloved, and sad for the tragedy Rwanda went through during the genocides. This means I did not take as many pictures or notes as in Uganda so this month’s summary is mostly retroactive and may have some gaps.
I went into the month with the realization that I do not perceive love well; it takes me a long time to feel love for someone and even longer to trust that I am loved (and no this isn’t because of my parents, we have a great relationship and they have always let me know I was loved). During debrief I realized something about covenantal love, the love God has for us. God makes covenants again and again with Israel. Covenants, if you don’t know, are different than promises or contracts. It’s a contract that says, even if you don’t hold up your end of the contract, I will keep mine. God will always love us, regardless of whether He is loved in return. I knew leaving debrief that God wanted me to try to live in that kind of love and kindness.
I didn’t know how hard it would be. I don’t view myself as someone who cares much what other people think. This past month though, I felt unloved and that’s not the fault of those around me, but it rather the truth of where I was. Saying that it didn’t matter if I was loved, or even liked, and that I was going to try and love well regardless is hard. You feel vulnerable, you think this is pointless, and honestly you want to just go find the people who do know and love you well.
That wasn’t an option. I’ve talked to my family some and I’ve messaged or emailed a few friends, but when I had internet my friends were usually at work. I miss my people, and I really miss being able to pick up the phone and call them. I love them as much as I did when I left, and the separation from them gave me a little bit of a glimpse into the separation we sometimes put between us and God. I imagine our separation is even harder because I haven’t been able to reach out, but He sees that we choose not to reach out to Him. He desires us to choose relationship with Him and I’ve always had that head knowledge but now I understand it better.
Now the hardest thing about Rwanda to me was the pain of the genocides. When we went to the memorial I could hardly believe the level of violence and the scale of it. I was in one of the last rooms and had the thought of Christ’s forgiveness and the depth of it. To stand in a room and feel anger, disgust, and even hate for the people who had killed so cruelly and mercilessly and then to have the realization that God loves and forgives even them was one of those moments that shapes and changes your faith. I don’t know how we have a God that hates sin and unrighteousness so much yet can forgive that sin and love us despite it.
I walk out of this month understanding of the magnitude of God’s love even more. All my life I’ve struggled with balancing a judgmental God with the loving Father. This month and reading the book “He Loves Me” have provided a good deal of insight into how God’s disdain for sin aligns with His desire for the best for us and is an element of His perfect love.
I wrote a blog already on it, but getting my Rwandan name and it meaning “well loved” was a wonderful final thought on a month of answered prayer.
