It’s 10:30 p.m. and our flight has landed just on time. The past two travel days have gone so smoothly. Too smoothly. We grab our bags and exit the terminal where we find our ministry host, Dave, waiting for us. All 41 of us load on the bus and head out. Our understanding of this month is that the whole squad would be working for the same ministry, but living and working separately. It was made clear to us by our Squad Leaders that this month was not to be an all squad month. It’s now 11:30 p.m. and we’re on our way to what we think is the hostel two of our teams will be living in for the month. At 2 a.m. we arrive at a large house in Bulakan, Philippines. ‘“All right guys, this is it. Let’s unload and head inside”, we’re told. I’m confused, but just do what I’m directed to. It’s 2 a.m., I haven’t slept for 36 hours, and nothing makes sense. So, we unpack and head inside. I somehow manage to pull out my sleeping pad and sheet and go to sleep.
The next thing I know I’m woken up and told to come eat. It’s 1 p.m. in the afternoon the day after we arrived. I hear our ministry host say, “This is the main house where most of you will be staying” and my stomach drops. No. Inwardly I’m trying to just stay calm and breathe. It was at this point that I knew this month was not going to be what we expected. Ooh, maybe this was not a good month to give up books and movies. Last month, I discovered that those are a form of running away from God for me. He asked me to give those up in order to pursue him more. I said yes. At this point I’m regretting that decision. I’ve been in close proximity with 41 other people for the past 5 days straight. All I want to do is be alone and watch a movie. So instead I get alone with God. And He speaks into the mess.
A popular thing on the race is the Meyers Briggs personality quiz. The quiz tells us that our whole team is made up of ‘J’ personality types, which are very structured and appreciate order. My team likes to say ‘Your J is showing’ when one of us does or says something that represents this personality type. This month is one of the most loosely structured on the race. Our squad leaders worked very hard to provide us with a weekly schedule. Yet we still wake up every day with the expectation that it will change, and it usually does. When I don’t have structure, I can easily get stressed out and / or frustrated. Now I know that’s the enemy creeping his way in. He wants me to be distracted from our ministry. If I can focus on my own frustrations instead of pouring the gospel into a 12 year old child at risk of falling into the too common life of drugs and crime, then he has won. I refuse to let the enemy win. So, this month I’m finding peace in Christ, and Christ alone, not a schedule or structure. That doesn’t mean I’m not a J anymore, it just means that my personality type doesn’t have to define me or dictate how I respond to situations. It means I chose Jesus every single day. It means I pour into that kid without any thought to my own needs. My needs mean nothing in comparison to the joy that is knowing Jesus.
We are commanded to seek peace and pursue it (Psalm 34:14). The scripture doesn’t call everybody but J personalities to peace, but it calls everyone. God has continually proven to us over and over again that His plan is better. So that’s where team Haya is now; living in His plan instead of our own. It’s certainly not easy, but it’s what we’ve been called to. My 7 teammates and I live in a roughly 200 square foot apartment, but I gladly wake up in the morning, eat breakfast with the rest of my squad, and head out to ministry each day. Every morning I repeat to myself ‘You are my glory and the lifter of my head’. And He is. This month isn’t what any of us expected. It’s only day 6, but I fully anticipate it being better than any of our expectations.
To my reader, (to use some World Race-isms) press in. When you’re hot, tired, sweaty, and hungry (and you will be), run to the Provider. Run to your Father. He knows your needs and can sustain you. Be obedient, and He will be faithful.
