Over a year ago, I bought a bracelet in Zambia. It was like a rainbow for my wrist. I loved it more than just about anything I owned, and every time I looked at it, I thought of Africa. After a few months of owning this bracelet, I felt God telling me to give it to a certain little girl.
I refused.
And sulked.
And balked.
And stalled.
And whined.
And finally gave in. I felt so much peace about it that I knew it had to be His will, so I let go. It turned out to be one of many things during that season of my life that He cut away to make more room for Himself.
Nearly six months later, walking through the streets of Pretoria, I see it; an exact replica of the bracelet I had given away. 20 rand to receive this gift from God? Of course. Now, every time I look at it, I see Him.
Two years ago, I fell in love with the man I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with. I dreamed of being the mother to his children and growing old with him.
I don’t even need to tell you that that didn’t happen. My heart was shattered. God came to me in the midst of my brokenness and urged me to give it ALL to Him. I surrendered my hopes of ever being a wife or a mother. In the midst of this, He gave me a verse.
Isaiah 54
“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord. “Enlarge your house; build an addition. Spread out your home, and spare no expense! For you will soon be bursting at the seams. Your descendants will occupy other nations and resettle the ruined cities.…“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you."
3
last week, I was talking to my squad mate, April, about my ministry. “You should come meet my kids! You would love them!” one of my other squad mates, Stephanie, spoke up. “No. I mean, I like kids, and I’m having trouble with these ones. April would NOT able to handle them.” I looked her right in the eye, shook my head, and said, “uh uh. Not my babies. My babies are perfect.” I then went on to describe how well behaved, smart, and obedient my children are. April smiled, shaking her head. I stopped. “What? Don’t you believe me?” She replied, “I believe that you see them that way…because you have a mother’s heart.”
A couple of days later, I got a word for one of my teammates from Jesus. As I spoke, a passage of scripture came to mind. “I’m not sure where this is located, but this is what it says…”
the next morning, I was looking for the scripture in my bible so I could write it down for her. Finally, I found Isaiah 54…and I remembered His promise, which He never forgot.
Three years ago, during the darkest season of my walk with God so far, I cried out to Him. “Where are you?? Don’t abandon me!” I poured out my heart, even though I felt He wasn’t listening. “I want to be in love with you…and not the puppy love between teenagers, but the love of a couple who have been married for fifty years and are still committed to each other.”
Last week, during team time, everyone was sharing how God was revealing himself as a romancer to them. I said, “Actually, Jesus and I remind me of an old married couple. I’m constantly nagging Him and He just says, ‘yes dear, yes dear, yes dear.’” We all laughed about it, and it wasn’t until a friend brought it up two days later that God reminded me of my prayer three years ago.
These are just three of so many ways God has remembered me. He loves me in yellow flowers (which are everywhere I go), in sunbeams, in samosas and chocolate and white cheddar popcorn, in random movie nights, in worship, in epic sunsets. I count the ways He loves, and I remember too;
He has been good, so good, to me.
