When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. -Ecclesiastes 5:3-5
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -Matthew 6:19-21
“You shall have no other gods before me." -Exodus 20:3
I've been losing all sorts of stuff lately. first, it was my hair straightener. then, it was my bible. then, it was my bracelet that I got in Zambia. after about a week of losing my stuff (and finding most of it later, when I wasn't looking for it) I got up on Monday morning (a couple weeks ago) to go volunteer some time at my church's food pantry. I got ready, and right when it was time for me to leave, discovered that my africa necklace was missing. I stormed around the house looking for it. "Of COURSE I can't find it," I scowled. "why WOULD I be able to find it? it's only one of my favorite things!!" my comments were directed at Jesus, whom I was absolutely convinced was doing this to me on purpose for some reason that I didn't care to try to understand at the moment.
let's rewind a little bit. back to when I discovered my bracelet was missing…at this point, I was feeling confused and helpless after a week of misplacing verious items that were valuable to me. I was frustrated because I couldn't remember where anything was, and perturbed that my Father-who I KNOW is good and cannot wrong His children-wouldn't help me find them.
at first, I tried to be a good, trusting daughter. "Father, I know you know where my bracelet is. you know it's not replaceable. will you please show me where it is?" after a while, my thoughts turned to bitter frustration as I mentally catalogued a list of things that I would rather have happen than to lose my bracelet. near the top of the list was loss of my limbs and cancer.
and then, convinced that He would never return my treasure to me, I made a vow. "God, if you bring my bracelet back, I will give it to L–."
and now we rewind even further…"L" is the precious daughter of a very dear friend. awhile back, right after I returned from Africa, I went to their house. upon seeing my bracelet, she was immediately enthralled. I handed it over, and she played with it for the remainder of the time I was there. when it was time for me to go, I picked it up out of a tiny bowl she had left it in and stuck it in my purse. then came the voice in my head: "what if you just let her keep it?"
"uh…no." was my quick reply. "mine. my bracelet."
I came up with so many excuses as to why I couldn't give this little treasure away. eventually, however, I came to the conclusion that it was just too important to me…way more important than I should ever allow an inanimate object to become.
a day after I made my vow, a friend contacted me on Facebook saying that I had left my little trinket at her house.
what happened next, I can only attribute to Grace.
as soon as I got my bracelet back, I went straight to the post office. as I handed the mailing envelope over to the postal worker, I felt the greatest sense of relief. no regret. no irritation. sweet relief…and thankfulness.
my closet, my room, my LIFE…is filled with things. for too long, I have embraced the world's notion that these things hold more than fleeting worth and minimal value.
and now…I come to this conclusion in tears…for all my collecting and storing up for myself here, I have not found one thing that is worth the price of a single human soul.
and isn't this the point of the World Race, to give up our trinkets and pick up our crosses and follow hard after Jesus for the sake of their souls, His treasures?
I fear that I almost forgot what I was doing this for. in the midst of all the craziness, I forget.
it's not about me. it's not about fun fundraisers or silly videos or bracelets or support letters.
it's about Him, and making His love known to those who have never even imagined it.
Jesus…if I ever start to forget…no matter what it takes…remind me.
-Anna
