Until this year, I had been involved in some sort of team sport since I was eight; soccer, basketball, track, and cross country. During the years that I participated in these sports, I can remember at least one specific time for each separate activity where my various coaches called out “stay on your toes”. It doesn’t matter the sport, I think that every coach says it. And maybe it’s just me, but I used to hate hearing this. I probably would roll my eyes and then do as I was told until they looked away. Running on my toes just required so much more effort and it was uncomfortable. But doing so would allow me to react more quickly to an incoming ball, lengthen my stride, or have more precision over the hurdle. It would put me in a posture of awareness and keep me from settling too easily into a particular pace or corner of the field. While I didn’t used to be such a fan of the phrase, “stay on your toes” are words I now want to live by and they are words that Jesus began to whisper to me a few years ago.
During my sophomore year I was really discontent with high school in general. The people, the work, the culture. I wanted out and I was so anxious and determined to just graduate and move on to college. In the midst of having these sentiments I had also buried my nose in books where I lived vicariously through people finding purpose and fulfillment in various ways. I began to wonder if there wasn’t maybe more out there in terms of fulfillment for me personally than going straight away to college and settling into a career. So I decided to keep my options open and I got on my toes.
When I saw an announcement from Adventures in Missions that said they were now opening up the World Race to 18-22 year olds in a different gap-year format, something clicked — in my mind and my heart. I knew right away that the World Race Gap Year was going to become a part of my story. It’s everything I want my life to be about: following Jesus, loving people, taking risks, serving, learning, and adventure. So I applied, got accepted, and now I’m going. Jesus sent the ball to my corner of the field and ready or not, I’m just going to run with it.
By no means is this next year going to be easy. It’s actually going to be really really hard. And exhausting. And scary. I’m going to be away from home for nine months. I’m going to have to learn how to live with sixty other 18-22 year olds. I’m going to have to witness some really devastating circumstances. These things are going to be difficult and challenging, but I want so badly to learn and grow. I want to enjoy the richness of living on this planet. I want to experience intimacy and oneness as a way of better understanding my Abba. I want to learn what it is to love and be loved by people who aren’t like me. To experience the hardship and joy that comes from being changed and to witness something new and beautiful being born within me. I want to discover what’s sacred in life and I don’t think I can if I settle for what’s safe.
It would be easier to stay where I am and it would be far more comfortable to walk this life flat on my feet. But I want to choose every day to live in a posture that makes me aware of what’s going on outside my own world and prevents me from settling too easily into my corner of the world and fast American pace. I want to live life on my toes because sometimes Jesus leans down and whispers “Let’s go do that together” and I want to be ready to go.
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