Already one whole week has gone by since my first blog. Nearly every day I marvel at the fact that I’m doing what I’m doing, and almost that often the thought goes through my mind: “Am I crazy for doing this?”. Maybe I am crazy. I feel especially crazy when I remember that massive number of funds to be raised in five months staring me down, but then- I just stare it back. I stare it down, and I win. I win, because my Jesus already won. To be honest, this fundraising thing is the worst part of this race. It’s what could have made me deny all the interest I ever had in the World Race, if anything could have. However, I decided that I’m not going to stress out about this. God told me to go; I’m going. There’s nothing I can tell God that He didn’t already know (including how much money this would take), so I’m trusting His Word and the promises He gives to me as I obey. There may be hiccups along the way, but that will not deter me from walking with my Father on the road He has set straight and plain for me. My hand is clasped in His, and so I walk.
I feel like all I’ve been doing these past seven days is “stepping out”: out of my comfort zone, and away from my little walls I like to hide behind. I don’t like to tell every person in the universe what I’m doing. I don’t like to invite them all to read a blog that hasn’t an ounce of privacy, and invite them to partner with me financially- because that’s just not me. I like to do my own thing and have crazy adventures, and then share it with the people who are close to me and I trust. But- that’s not the person God is asking me to continue as. I need to make myself vulnerable, even if that means rejection. I need to give people not only a second chance, but a first chance. Too often I do things independently because it involves less people, which means less drama. God is showing me that I must allow more people to be involved in my personal life, and I need to allow him to enlarge my realm of influence. Even if rejection does sometimes kiss me, what is that? If invitations are denied, who cares? Nothing can do anything to me unless I allow it.
I am so grateful for my Abba Father who is walking every step of this journey with me. And to all of you supporters: thank you! Thank you to those of you who have supported me financially, and even more importantly: prayerfully. Continue to hold me up to the throne of Grace. I do need Him so much.
