It strikes an uneven chord to even write it. Everything about the idea makes me want to say, "No, please don't make me!" Don't get me wrong, I'm not desperate. I even tend to flirt with the line between independent and being a feminist; where I mostly believe I don't "NEED" a guy, and fully believe I could do things on my own. (No offense, guys).
What's the catch? I'd hate to reach 80 years old and not have my forever (earthly) best friend by my side. There's something so sweet and miraculous about God's gift of human-love lasting decades. A love that knows all secrets, yet accepts the other just as they are. The deepest bond of relational love and friendship combined. It's something I long for.
What is it about society that makes us feel as if we "need" someone else to fully complete us? Is it just society, or is it Godly? God placed Adam on Earth and realized he shouldn't be alone.
"It is nearing the end of the sixth day, the end of the Creator's great labor, as Adam steps forth, the image of God, the triumph of his work. He alone is pronounced the son of God. Nothing in creation comes close. Picture Michelangelo's David. He is… magnificent. Truly, the masterpiece is complete. And yet, the Master says that something is not good, not right. Something is missing… and that something is Eve. She is the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God-and they were meant for each other."
-Captivating
Yet in the Bible it states:
8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
-1 Corinthians 7: 8-9, 32-35
So which is it?
All I know is that lately God has been telling me I have to fully accept the idea of never finding someone. My focus needs to be on my own growth with God so that I am right with his plans for me (whatever they may be); and for this year -during the World Race- it is essential. I guess it makes sense- how would I be able to give myself completely to a future spouse, if I didn't understand my own self and purpose first?
And what if it isn't God's plan for me to be married someday? I know a lot of lovely, strong, Christian women that have never married and are doing awesome and amazing Godly work every day. I wouldn't consider them lacking.
I've already been making preparations, and it is so hard. There isn't anyone specific I'm waiting on- but just weeding out the hopeful "maybes" is a lot more difficult than I imagined. Whether if comes to cutting conversations shorter, or stopping myself when I think too much- it's made me realize how much of an idol "Prince Charming" has been for me. Although it seems to be a mountain for me to climb, I am excited for the day I no longer anxiously wait for "Prince Charming;" as so much more time and effort can be put back into God and my purpose through him. I am weak now, but I will be strong, and your prayers for my journey through it would be greatly appreciated!
Grace and Peace,
Anna
