We rode bikes, pedaling by the crystal blue waters of the Bay of Kotor, an output of the Adriatic Sea in Montenegro. I admired the white-washed stone buildings with their goethic designs, and the sweet little signs of life in them, like the flower boxes in the windows, or the bicycle leaning against the steps. I love the doors of these buildings. The wooden slabs, with peeling paint that shows years of love and wear from the salty air. The brass handles, reminding me of Alice in Wonderland and the strange doorknobs she had to turn to enter the land. That’s what I feel like here, like the fairytales were all written and modeled after Kotor, Montenegro.
Hiking with our bikes to an unknown location, it was like walking into a magical land. The ground was overgrown but you could still see the old stones that were laid, possibly 100 years ago, hiding beneath the soft blanket of foliage. On either side of us were trees that arched over us, creating a green tunnel, pushing us towards our goal. I felt like this tunnel was transforming us, working some magic that would mold and shape us into who we needed to be when we finally reached where we were going.
The stone steps became harder to see as the ground became more and more wild, suggesting years of loneliness and of abandonment. My imagination went wild, wondering who walked these same steps when this land was in its prime. Lets stop and reflect on that.
The paths that we trod, they are beautiful and glorious and, at the time, we see them as eternal. But the truth is that those paths will fade. Our memories of that time, and what we walked through, will become overgrown and abandoned to allow the weeds of time to take over, until it takes every bit of energy to dig through the foliage, rip it out and try to find the beauty beneath.
On we climbed. Soon our legs were being scratched up from the thorns and weeds trying to take us down with them. We fought our way through and finally we saw the gray, brown walls of the church. The chipping away of time, and green growth of age evident. Moss and ivy and other unknown plants taking over, trying to destroy this ancient building, yet only managing to make it that much more beautiful. As we walked the perimeter we tried to find a way through the locked gates and impenetrable walls. Eventual the conclusion was made that the wall must be climbed. One man went on a free climb up the wall so he could prepare the way for us. He tied off a rope, and lowered it to us. As I took to the wall, holding onto the rope for dear life, facing something I had no skill set to do, I wondered how I would get up this thing. A friend of mine guided me through every foot hold and hand hold, every minute movement and I trusted him as he encouraged me to keep moving forwards and upwards. What a beautiful analogy.
Often in life we come to a wall. A wall that appears impossible to climb, and yet Jesus is standing down below, guiding us, telling us where to step, believing in us that we have the ability, and encouraging us to believe in ourselves and to trust that he is going to get us to safety. And guess what? I did it. I climbed that wall, made it to safety. I trusted in him and I said okay and went for it. I had more ability to do it than I thought I did.
I didn’t only get to climb a wall on my own will, but I got to watch three of my friends do it as well. I watched their struggles and I was able to stand above and cheer them on letting them know that they too had it in them, that they had every ounce of ability that I did. What a wonderful thing!! At the top I turned around to see one of the most hauntingly beautiful things I’ve ever seen! The shambles of a broken fallen world, crumbling and lying dormant, watching an active world living below it. And yet, amidst the brokenness, beauty was growing. The gray facade was stained green with new growth, new beginnings. Among the green, wildflowers bloomed, proving that death can be conquered and (to quote Jurassic Park) “life finds a way.” We walked across cement slabs that were a little loose, and it took a little bit to discover that they were graves….. a few were broken open and we could see the skeletons lying below. The remains of a person. Someone who once walked this earth. A child of God who now resides in Heaven. Part of it was creepy, but I again saw the strange beauty lying beneath.
The church overlooks the entire bay and we can see all the parts of Kotor. It was an amazing perspective to be on top of the world and see all of the land below. The door of the church was warped metal, bent by the weather, and hanging by its hinges, thrown asunder by the violence of time. Yet it held on. Through this door was the entrance to the church, the roof long since collapsed, the ground now a garden of weeds and thorns chest high. Past the wild garden there is one thing about the church that remained intact, untouched by the nature that has overwhelmed the rest of it; The Sanctuary. The sacred space. The Merriam Webster dictionary describes Sanctuary like this:
Sanctuary: A place where someone or something is protected or given shelter; the protection that is provided by a safe place.
Hmmm…… interesting. That the only protected space in the church, the one that is completely untouched, is the Sanctuary. The Safe place. The place of protection. The irony did not escape me. Two kneeling benches sat, poised and ready for the knees that will come before their God. Ready and waiting, and on their knees in the middle of destruction, begging God to save them. The shrine stood, cracked and rotting. Right away I noticed the colors of the original paintings on the wall trying to come out, but not one cross was present. Where was the representation of what this was supposed to be? Where was the sign that God once was worshipped here? But then again God is everywhere. I saw him in the weeds, in the cracks of the cement, in the beauty of the building. I saw him in the view down below, the water of the bay sitting, glittering, welcoming us in its embrace. The mountains sitting guard, protecting this most cherished secret of the world. The houses with its inhabitants, just going on about life as if God didn’t design them, as if God wasn’t still around moving in everything they see.
How can we be so blind to the power that is all around us? How do we try to doubt the existence of God when the overwhelming evidence of Him is EVERYWHERE around us? Why do we try to explain things away when God is literally talking to us in his creation saying “This cannot be explained.”? When did apathy become the average emotion?
I did not feel apathy as I stood on that hill. I felt a lot of things, but apathy was not one! The music started and my soul began to sing. I let the music wash over me as I looked at the country of Montenegro. I spread my hands out wide and I prayed for God to sweep through this nation, to conquer and have victory over the apathy. I prayed for revival, for God to flood this nation with a supernatural thirst for him and a supernatural awakening so that EVERYONE would see and know what happened here. I prayed that the people here would become so alive and on fire for him that they would overflow into the surrounding countries, that revival would not just happen here but in all the countries of Eastern Europe.
The words poured out of me in the strange and unexplainable way that the Holy Spirit has. My body tingled with the power that flows through me from Jesus Christ! I felt alive and awakened, and ready to douse this land with my intercession! I walked into the sanctuary alone, just in the presence of God, and the music echoing back to me. I swayed to the music in my heart and just stared and listened. I watched the alter, with its vacancy of object and spirit. I knelt to my knees on the kneeling board, the wooden platform digging painfully into my knees, but there I remained, bowed before my King, begging him to move! I stayed on my knees past the point of comfort, knowing that total and complete submission to him will bring me pain. It will be hard to be on my knees at every moment of every day. The demands of life and this world will dig into my knees, trying to force me to stand up and walk away, returning to the numb state that this world is stuck in. But I will not give in. As the bruises started forming on my knees, I stayed there, rejoicing in the pain. Thats when God spoke to me.
I stood up quickly and started searching on the ground, through the rubble, through the broken pieces of wood and stone. I found what I was looking for, a rock made of red clay, that would leave a mark on a wall. A rock that acted like a crayon, perfect! Just what I needed! I walked with purpose over to the alter and climbed on top of it, the wooden decorated arch above me and the stone/cement slab in front of me. I took the red clay piece to the stone and started to draw. It took a lot of effort, but I continued with fervor. I carved and I carved. I drew and I drew. I jumped down and found a small piece of charcoaled wood, and took to the alter again. All the while my soul singing to the Lord, knowing that this is what I was supposed to do, that this act was going to change everything. My friends filled up the room, with the music and themselves. With their prayers and hearts soaring. They saw what I was doing and started to help. They didn’t question me, think I was crazy, or tell me to stop. They were an example of what God intended for the Body of Christ to be. What the church should be doing. They came alongside me and encouraged me and supported me, knowing that they didn’t understand why I was doing this, but trusting that I had a reason and a purpose and who were they to stop it? They saw that God was working and didn’t interrupt but uplifted me and worshiped him alongside me.
They showed the same grace and understanding and came alongside my other friend when he started to tear down a wall of the church. It was strange at first, we weren’t sure why this was happening but then he told us. He said that for the last week or so God has been talking to him just about tearing down the walls. Tearing down the walls of sin, the walls of hurt, the walls that keep him from God and others. So when he saw that wall, the wall that was already falling, the wall that was going to come down anyways, he felt like God was saying “Tear it down.” and he did. It looked odd, and we were confused, but he was just obeying God and it represented such a powerful message, and got me thinking.
What are the walls in my life that I need to tear down? Will I have the courage to go out on a limb of obedience to take them down, not worrying about what it will look like to others or what the end result will be? Will I have the will power to finish the job and tear it down until it really is on the floor? What are some walls in your life that need to come down?
Our time was up and we turned to leave. Just like coming in, the only way out was to scale another wall. So I held onto the strong forearms of my friends as they lowered me down to the ledge. I held onto the rock for dear life, but I knew that I needed to let go of it to get down. My friend held onto my wrist and kept telling me to let go. I said “No I can’t.” He grabbed my hand and said “Anna, just take my hand and trust me, I’m not going to let you fall.” In that moment it hit me.
How often are we hanging over a cliff, trying to cling to it, when Jesus is standing above, holding out his hand saying
“Just take my hand and trust me, I’m not going to let you fall.”
And guess what, he didn’t let me fall, he brought me safely down and I made it! How many times has Jesus asked that of me? How many times have I hesitated to trust him? How many times have I finally given in and taken his hand, for him to lower me to safety and realize how stupid my hesitation was? God has so much to offer us! God wants us to take the risks in life with Him! He wants us to just trust and obey His calling. He wants and desires all of us, for us to be given over to him in submission to his wonderful ways. So much Joy can come from following after him.
There is so much to gain by running towards him, and nothing to lose!! Dive head long into the arms of the One who loves you more deeply, more truly, and more powerfully than anyone else!! Take the leap of faith into the unknown and trust that he will catch you!!
We turned to leave and didn’t look back. We moved forwards towards home, towards a new, open appreciation for this life we live. I was renewed and even more excited to follow God into this life. I didn’t look back because I knew what was there already. The CROSS. Jesus was killed by this world, destroyed by the sinful nature of man. Yet he was perfect. He is the greenery that sprouted between the broken cement blocks. He is the broken body of that church. He is in and around that place. The Cross etched into the stone of the alter proves that Jesus is not restricted to a grave, or kept inside a box, and he is most definitely not Dead!! Because……
HE IS RISEN!
HE IS RISEN INDEED!
