Debrief in Durban was one of the hardest weeks I’ve experienced on the Race. I don’t need to go into detail,but I will sum it up as best I can. I received two pieces of pretty big news from home. I needed to process that and try to wrap my head around the fact that things will be different when I go home. I had to grieve the fact that I was going to lose a family member (from cancer) and I gained a new brother (through marriage).
Those are two pieces of news that were too big for me. Then I lost my World Race family! SURPRISE! We had team changes, and though my brothers are still with me, I had to say goodbye to four sisters who I loved as flesh and blood! I can’t even begin to express my broken heart. I can’t even collect my tears in a jar! Then one of my sisters on the Race had to walk through some very tough things and it was hard to be there and watch her go through it.
Then again my heart broke as I had to say another goodbye to two sisters on the Race as they went home to America. Oh how my heart was falling apart. Then, after all of this came the final morning in Durban. As I tried to get money from the ATM a man came up and stole my ATM card from my hand. How can I explain the humiliation? How can I explain how I felt naked, exposed and taken advantage of as my life was taken from me? It was just the cherry on top of a cake of a horrible week.
How am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to turn to? Where could I go? What could I do? Through all of this, with all the heartache, with all the emotions running high, with all the fear and all the anger, there was a constant whisper in my soul. There was a quiet reminder that the things of this world are too big for me, but there is one who says “Take heart, I have overcome the World.”
I walked along a beach, with the ocean stretching so far into the horizon that I couldn’t see the end, and i marveled at the infinite wonder that is God. He is an endless ocean, a bottomless sea. He is there and always will be. I stood on that beach surrounded by a group of people who ten months ago were strangers. I stood on that beach surrounded by a group of people who are now my family, my brothers and sisters. I stood on that beach and watched two of my brothers, baptize my sister in the endless ocean of a God who loved more deeply. I stood on that beach and watched my brothers baptize my sister in the endless affection and love of our Heavenly Father. I walked into a shop with a sister and left with a new appreciation. I walked into a shop with my sister and talked about the World Race. I walked into a shop with my sister and told about the goodness of God to two strangers. I walked into a shop with a sister and left with a cross with my name engraved on it and two new acquaintances from Durban, South Africa.
You see no matter where we go, no matter what we are going through, God is always there. God is standing there with his palms up saying “Give it to me.” and he will be standing there until we finally give it to him. He is not an impatient God. He is not an unloving God. He is not an unkind God. He is not a demanding God. He is patient. He is kind. He is gracious. He is comforting. HE IS LOVE!!! He is all and nothing, he is everything and something. He is good! Every day is a new day. Every day holds it own sorrows and hardships. Every day is filled with its good. Every day is full joy. Because every day is created by God.
As I watched the bright Red and Orange sunset every night over the Africa Delta here in Seronga, Botswana, I remembered that Jesus shed his blood to cover over the bad, so that we could have the freedom to walk in his goodness and love. Each sunset wipes clean the day ahead so we can start afresh in the grace of God!
This is a real photo taken by my team mate John Michael. Who can’t believe in a God when they see this?
