Psalm 40:7-8 “Then I said, ‘Here I am, I have come—it is written about me in the scroll. I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart.'”
“It is written about me in the scroll.” What an awesome thing to think about, that God has written about me and the works I will do for him, so that when I show up it doesn’t go unnoticed that I am the one who it was foretold about. At least to the angels in heaven right? or maybe not. I mean God tells the Jews repeatedly throughout the Bible about the ones who were to come and no one knew their names or when they would arrive, but their coming was still anticipated.
God has given me a clear word about the path that my life is going down and it is exciting, and scary, and incredible, and humbling, and everything in between. Its pretty big so brace yourselves.
I am going to be working in Human Trafficking!
I told you, HUGE! All my life I thought I would work with children one day. I just have a passion and desire to love the children that others have given up on. I want to love the unloved, and to raise them in the love of the Father. That is where I thought God was leading me all my life, a path to his Children. But He has completely blind-sided me. I want to share with you how this all came about and the words God spoke to me.
Now before you go thinking that I am crazy, let me explain. When I say “God spoke to me” I’m not talking about an audible voice, its more like words that appear in my heart, and as I write they appear on paper before they form in my mind. Its how my brain works with my own words as well. So the words that were “spoken” to me, I know were from God because they were not anything I would have imagined saying. So here is my dialog with God.
Me: Go….. Go where?
God: Don’t worry I have it all planned out.
Me: Its human trafficking isn’t it?
God: (silence)
Me: *sigh* I know…… But God, its so hard.
God: I know
Me: but I thought I was going to take care of kids.
God: You did, for a long time, and you did such a good job with them.
Me: Thank you.
God: I love you daughter. Now you are going to take care of my other children. I know you will love them like I do. Do you remember what I told you through Hannah?
Me: (My mind goes back to Guatemala, when my friend Hannah spoke a word over me during worship) You said that I was one of your most beautiful creations and that you love me so much.
God: That is still true. You are one of my most beautiful creations. I am preparing you for something great.
Me: What is it?
God: All in good time.
Me: Will my family find reconciliation?
God: What did I promise you?
Me: I know….. what about my book? Will I publish it? Will it sell?
God: All in good time. Patience and trust in me.
Me: What about Romania?
God: You ask questions my daughter that you do not need an answer for.
Me: I know God…. I know.
God: Look up.
Me: Why? I don’t see anything that means anything. Why do I need to look up?
God: Look up.
Me: Why?
God: I tell you to look up but you are stubborn! You feel in your heart that it may be just your human nature telling you to look up! I will give you the answer! Open up your Bible!
Me: Where to?
God: Just open it!
Me: (I open it to Psalm 105)
Psalm 105:8 “He remembers his covenant forever, the promise he made, for a thousand generations,”
Me: You kept all of your promises that you made me. “Look up” not to the room, like I foolishly interpreted, but to You! To the Heavens! Thank you for the promises you will fulfill to me oh God! Here I am, SEND ME!
He has all of my life planned out for me. Right now I know that my heart has been broken open to love the girls around the world who are stuck in a horrible industry, a modern day slavery marked by paid sex. My arms are aching to hug these girls and show them that the love of only ONE man matters! A man who loved them so much that he died for them! He literally laid down his life so that they could be FREE!! God is calling me to something great and I can’t wait to see what he has in store!
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