There have been times in each of our lives when the people we love and trust turn against us. In these times we feel confused and alone. But we are never alone. There is always someone by our side. Someone who will never run from us or turn his back on us no matter how many times we mess up. His name is Jesus and he loves us with this crazy and unconditional kind of love that I cannot fathom. He is our friend, our comforter, and our redeemer. He loved us enough to die on a cross for our sins two thousand years before we were born.
When I think of all the people in my life that I hold near to my heart, I don’t think I would willingly hang on a cross for their crimes. Actually, I know I wouldn’t. You say “of course you wouldn’t, because no matter how much you love them, you’re still only human”. But think about it. Jesus, who left splendor of heaven to become a man, died on the cross for my sins that I had not even committed yet. Jesus in human form hung on that cross. Not some spiritual being who didn’t feel the full extent of pain, but a man who willingly allowed his hands and feet to be nailed to a cross for my sins. He felt the excruciating pain as the nails were driven through his flesh. It is the same pain that you or I would feel if we were nailed to a cross. He could have called upon a thousand angel armies to save him from this fate, but instead he endured the pain as a ransom so that we could be set free from the bondage of sin.
Jesus wants to be so much more than our savior. He wants to be our safe haven, our rock, our defender, and our friend. Our friend? Yes, he actually wants to be our friend and have a relationship with us. To me that just seems crazy. The extent of his love for us is baffling and yet we so often forget the price he paid for us. We go on about our lives and only turn to him when something goes wrong or we want something from him. How many days have I gone without really paying attention to him and then run to him when I “need” something?
He didn’t go through all his suffering to free us from our sins so that we could have a shallow relationship with him. He wants to have an intimate relationship with us. He wants to love us passionately and intimately. When we go through hardships in life, he wants us to turn to him. He never said that life would be easy if we follow him. Living our lives for Jesus will never be easy, but we will have someone at our side during both the trials and triumphs in our lives.
In the two weeks that I’ve been here in El Salvador, I’ve experienced his love like I never had before. I embarked on this trip I expecting to be immersed in ministry only to arrive and find out that our ministry was not what we had thought it was going to be. I was disappointed because I felt like I wasn’t doing anything, but I have realized that this is a resting period. It is a time for me to grow closer to him, hear his voice, and develop a deeper relationship with him. I don’t want to only run to him when I want something. I want to go to him because I love him so much and cherish the time I spend with him.
“Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love you and walk with you on my own. I can’t do it, and I need you. I need you deeply and desperately. I believe that you are worth it, that you are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want you. And when I don’t, I want to want you. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have your way in me. Amen” -Francis Chan
