Have you ever found something that you didn’t know you lost? For example today while I was cleaning out my pack I found a small tube of body lotion that I had put in there way back in September, I was so excited to find it too, my skin has been so dry here in Eastern Europe. Sometimes we lose things, or forget them, and we don’t even realize it. After the crash in 2008 graduation was more daunting to me. The economy was in the toilet and very few of the people I knew who had gotten job offers and after weeks of applying and working on my cover letters and my resume I was going to walk at my graduation without a job. I moved back home, praying that it was only temporary, and kept applying. I applied to three jobs a day for two months, goose eggs.
But you see, God came through in a HUGE way. A young single mom had come to my church and needed a nanny for her two sons. This led me to a second nanny job, and then a third. I got the exact jobs and internships that I had prayed for all those times that I had prayed in front of the computer. I had asked for a job that I could wear jeans to, play and laugh, work with kids, and that I would make a difference and that would challenge me, and a job where I would get my hands dirty. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever been a nanny, but it fills all of those requirements in the most wonderful way. What I didn’t know I lost you ask?
Well you see there was a lot of rejection in those years, and I can only take so much of that before I start to believe it. I had lost hope. I had lost the understanding that I was making a difference and that what I did didn’t define me, and that what those interviewers had told me and said to me didn’t define who I am. God alone defines who I am. I had forgotten that, with God all things are possible. A long time ago I had given up on a dream, the one thing that I really loved. Somewhere along the way I had been convinced that my dream wasn’t worth pursuing, that I couldn’t succeed. I bought in to the lies, God has been pealing them away slowly, replacing them with truth, courage, hope, strength, conviction, faith, and trust.
Yesterday I posted one of my stories online. I’ve written for the stage, that much is true, but to have one of my stories out there is just as thrilling and crazy to think about. I’m looking into MFA programs and am going to apply and see what happens. If I get in, great, if not that’s okay too. Neither acceptance nor rejection defines who I am. God can use my failures to bring about even greater things than I could possibly imagine, turning “failure” into a catalyst for something amazing that will bring Him glory. Thanks to my contact for setting a deadline and for editing and helping me publish online!
Check it out on writerscafe.org/writing/ann_duncan/947596/
