“Guey! Guey! Stop the van!!!”
Our host began to yell out of the car window as the van came to an abrupt stop. We all sat in the backseat puzzled as to what she saw on the car ride back from the village.
As she was climbing out of the van she told us that a grown man had just drop kicked a little boy into the ground, and she began chasing him around the side of the building. (She’s kinda legit)
I peered out of the van window to see a sweet little boy who had to have been only 3 or 4 years old. He wasn’t wailing or screaming from the top of his lungs, but his cry could have shattered your heart into a million pieces. It was a gentle and soft cry with very few tears that ran down his cheeks, as if the pain didn’t hurt his body as much as his father had broken his heart.
I began to walk towards him and before I knew it he was cuddled up in my arms. I rocked him back and forth and for that moment I knew with all I am he was safe. Nothing could touch him, and even if his dad came back around the corner… I wouldn’t let him harm a hair on his head.
Sarah (our host) came back around the corner with the father and made him apologize to his son. She also told him why what he did was wrong and that she would have people watching him all around the village. (Like I said… She’s legit)
It was time to leave and my heart finally caught up to what my mind was processing:
I had to leave him here.
I couldn’t put him in our van and bring him home with us. I couldn’t wipe away any more tears, and I couldn’t prevent his father from beating him again. I had to leave.
Leaving is a part of it. All of it.
A part of life, growing, healing, and the bigger picture. Jesus left heaven and became man, then left earth to save us, and will leave again to bring us home. Beauty is in the leaving and restoration follows quickly after. Could you imagine if Jesus chose to stay in heaven with His Father? Or what if He didn’t leave the grave? Jesus knew He had to leave in order for God to do His biggest work, and that applies in our lives today.
I’ve struggled greatly with the thought of leaving. How could I leave these people when they are STILL hungry? How can I leave these sweet boys on the streets and not take them in myself? How can I do more here? Say more? I can’t leave.
In comes pride. The thought that I am the one saving people, and I am the one they need in order to survive. The struggle in feeling like I have left them to die, while forgetting who is greater than I, and who can do far more than I could ever think up in my mind. I am not leaving them in destruction… I am leaving them in a hands of a Father who delights in them and desires to be everything they need.
My greatest struggle is I am a fixer. I want to “get er done” right away, and take matters into my own hands. I want to change the world and that sometimes remains my focus. What I need to remember is I can’t change the world, only Jesus can do that. What I can do is I can be obedient to every person God places before me today.
I remember hearing a story of a man on the beach who was throwing starfish back into the ocean. Apparently thousands of them had washed up on the shore, and without the water they would all die. Someone approached the man and said, “don’t you know what you are doing doesn’t matter! There are too many starfish! Too many to safe! It doesn’t matter anyway!” The man gave a smirk, picked up the next starfish and said, “it mattered to that one” as he threw it into the water.
I wonder how the story ended. I wonder if the man stayed on the beach every day and spent his life throwing every starfish back into the ocean. Or did he leave? What if he left and told other people about the dying starfish? What if he empowered them to go, and as a result many starfish were rescued because of his obedience to leave? By him leaving… He would have also allowed other people to receive the blessing of helping the starfish get back into the ocean.
I’m telling you… There is so much beauty in leaving. Not too early… Not too late… But at the exact time the Lord guides you on. You have to rest in the truth that if He is taking you somewhere else, He will take care of what you are leaving behind. If you choose to stay because “your family needs you” or “no one else can do your job”, you are actually not only saying God can’t do His work without you, but you may be hindering other people’s relationship with God by trying to be their Savior.
Many times in scripture God calls people to leave, and we see the greater purpose of it all. If God is calling you to leave… Go. Trust Him not only with the lives of those you love or have fallen in love with, but trust Him ultimately with your life, your plans, your all.
“There are far, far greater things ahead than those you leave behind.” C.S Lewis
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.” Mark 10:29-30
