The last two months have had two themes
Surrender of Fears
Surrender -To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion
Fear-A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
Abandonment of Pride.
Abandon-To withdraw one's support or help from, especially in spite of duty, allegiance, or responsibility; desert
Pride-Arrogant or disdainful conduct or treatment; haughtiness
Through out the course of my life I have acquired many a fears. Some of them irrational like the fear of birds, drive through’s, and airports; and some of them are greater like the fear of man, fear of failure, and fear of always missing the mark. All of them paralyzing and have held power in affecting my life. I have made decisions based on fear and chosen to act upon its presence in my life.
Last month in Nicaragua God gave me a word, it was FEARLESS.
I decided that no matter what, I was going to say “yes” to what Jesus told me to do. I was going to choose Fearlessness. This led me to speak up to the girls on my squad about believing in the beauty God gave us as women. It led me to speak up to my team when I would have otherwise kept silent. I am choosing not to let fear hold a place in my life, not even the strange ones.
The bible has a lot to say about fear. Jesus tells the disciples do not fear even if your boat is sinking or you are about to fall into the water that you are walking on. 1 John 4:18 says that “There is no fear in love; but perfect love cast out fear…” Jesus tells us “that there is no greater love than He who lays down his life for his friends” John 15:13. Jesus is the perfect love that casts out fear. He has already won the battle. I do not have to spend time battling fear or doing anything to find courage. I simply have to dwell in that fact that God is love and no matter what, He is acting in that.
With last month being about surrendering fears this month seemed to lend its hand in a lesson in abandonment, but abandon what? I am living in a tent with no electricity and my whole body is itching from flea bites and a shower means that I fill up a bucket with a hose. What else is there to leave behind? Answer: Pride. That seems to be something that I carry and can’t seem to get rid of. Frankly I don’t even really know what it looks like to lay that down; but day by day I pray for God to create in me a humble heart. I have been slapped in the face this month with my own inadequacies and to be honest I have failed in fully loving my team. I am tripping over myself as I walk out the lifestyle of a God centered community.
The bible says that “God despises the proud and gives grace to the humble” James 4:6. God is refining me and teaching me to live in Grace and courage. So here I sit while daily Gods grace has covered my sins and loves me through a process that involves the stripping of myself and my pride.
Create in me a clean heart oh God. Let me not live in fear and in pride but, fashion in me a courageous and humble heart.
I love me a good list so here is one of the greatest lists to be found in the bible.
He said:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
A few last things…
