True Life: I’m a Control Freak

For those of you who know me, you know that I’m a planner. I love to plan things. Planning parties, planning events, planning trips around the world, you name it. I love to plan. Well, in all honesty one of the hardest things for me on the Race has been relinquishing control of my planning “OCD ways” and leaving things up to the Lord. This, however, is still a struggle for me even going into month six. I have had a very particular way of doing bar ministry this month and I had been so focused on doing things my way that I haven’t even stopped to think that maybe the Lord has other, better things in store for me and my ministry on Bangla. I don’t mean that I wasn’t praying and seeking out God’s will and having the Spirit speak through me during ministry with the women, I was. I just mean that I was so focused on the few particular girls at the bars we were frequenting that I became completely narrow minded and blind sided by the other women at the bars, which is why this story is such a “God thing”…

I had heard from Erica, one of the girls on “Crash of Love” who does bar ministry with us, that there was a particular girl she’d been pouring into and praying for. We’ll call this girl “Hope” since that’s Erica’s name for her in all the blogs she’s posted. She said there was something very special about Hope and Erica was always trying to meet up with her when she was working but sometimes Hope wouldn’t be there during our ministry hours. One night Erica saw Hope at the bar and approached her but their conversation didn’t go very well. Hope was acting very strange towards her and wasn’t giving Erica a chance to talk, so Erica left the bar feeling defeating, yet still praying that God would find a way to reach out to her that night.

Well, pan over to me, sitting at the bar, also feeling defeated because my particular girl at the same bar was with a male customer and I wasn’t able to talk to her. In my head I thought it was too late in the ministry month to focus on other women so I needed to stay persistant with the ones I had already built relationships with and I was stubborn to do anything besides that. Every time my bar girl would come over and talk to me for a few seconds I would try and strike up a conversation to keep her from going back to her customer and every time I failed. Of course, I didn’t even think of the possibility of turning my attention to anyone else. I just kept telling myself to focus. Finally I tried asking her one last question and another girl I had never noticed before answered me in perfect English while my girl went back to her customer’s arms. Being in the mind set I was in, I completely ignored this “perfect English speaking” girl and kept trying to get my girl’s attention.

Well, I finally gave up on my girl, coming to terms with the fact that she wasn’t leaving her customer to chat with me and pitifully looked at the girl I had just blown off. Regardless of my poor behavior, she was very friendly to me so I asked her name and come to find out, it was Hope, the same girl Erica had been praying and interceding for! Weird how God works these things out, even when we’re being ridiculous and pig headed about our own plans and actions. Well, she and I continued talking and I knew it was no coincidence that out of all the girls at that particular bar (there were seven working at the time), I was speaking to the one girl Erica had covered in prayer. God knew He was going to have me talk to Hope that evening and our conversation went far better than anything else I had tried to do on my own so far this month.

I asked her about her family, her daughter and how she’d made her way to Phuket and she said she didn’t like working at the bars and wished she could get a job as a tour guide or hotel receptionist. She had really been struggling financially and she had only made 5,000 Baht last month (which is about 130 USD) and she wished she could make more to support her mother, sister and three-year old daughter back home in Bangkok. I knew that our ministry gave women a starting salary of 7,000 Baht doing jewelry making or cooking and that she could potentially get even more than that doing hotel management or tour guiding. Her English is impeccable which would really help her in the tourism industry here in Phuket, so she’s got that going for her.

Well, telling her all the things I’ve just written to you, I looked her straight in the eye and told her the truth: she was settling here at this bar. I told her she wasn’t worth a particular price for the night, or for the week…that she was priceless and intelligent and beautiful. She teared up and said “No one has ever told me I was intelligent before. Do you really think I could be a tour guide or work at a hotel?” I continued to build her up and speak truth and life into her until she started crying. I told her it was worth it to try and get out of the bars not only for her, but for her daughter and her family. Then I asked to see pictures of her daughter and while we were looking through the pictures on her cell phone I asked her how often she got vacation time to see her daughter in Bangkok. She said she hadn’t seen her daughter in a year. Could you imagine missing an entire year of your toddlers life? I told her if she had a different job, one that paid well and was more prestigious, she could have days off (which she hadn’t had in months) and even multiple days off to see her family up north. This made her even more excited.

I handed her a flyer for English classes and Hotel Management classes that are every Tuesday and Thursday at our ministry’s office located at the end of Bangla Road (so convenient) and told her I’d love to see her that coming Tuesday. Well, at the end of the night I told Erica what had happened with Hope and she was so happy to hear that God had gotten through to her after all that evening, even though it wasn’t in the way she had planned. We both decided to call Hope the next day and confirm the English and Hotel lesson plans and come Tuesday morning we genuinely thought she would show up. The only problem with having class at 10 in the morning for bar girls is the mere fact that they go to bed around 5 or 6 AM. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for sleeping, so Hope had turned her phone off and was completely asleep when we tried calling her over and over. I was disappointed along with Erica but we knew that these things happen, especially when doing ministry with the women at the bars. We just needed to continue to love on her and be persistent.

That next evening Erica and I both came to the bar with Haile and didn’t mention anything about the English and Hotel Management lesson. Hope eventually apologized for being absent and said she wished the lessons could be later in the day so she could have more time to sleep. We decided 2 pm was a better time and let our contacts know afternoons are better overall for the bar girls. We finished our conversation that night with plans for meeting up the next day for lunch and she promised she would show up this time. Well Erica, Haile and I set off for Starbucks on Bangla Road that next day with high hopes and prayers of seeing Hope and her best friend at the bar, Lee, another girl we’d gotten to know this month. Praise the Lord, they came right at 2 PM!!

We had the most splendid afternoon with the two women, eating yummy Thai food on the beach (I had pad thai with prawns) and shopping at the market on the beach boardwalk. We ended our date day by playing carnival games, which the women LOVED to play, and sitting on the beach. It was so wonderful to be able to spend time with both Hope and Lee outside of the bar environment. Sadly, both women had to leave us at 5 to meet two customers from Denmark (which was very devastating).

They promised us they’d come to this Tuesdays lessons at the office and I am praying so very hard that they both start showing up on a regular basis. Lord willing, they’ll quit their careers as bar girls and pursue jobs they can be proud of. Hope said during lunch that day that, “I do everything and anything with customer but I am so unhappy, I don’t like it at all.” She even kept delaying her appointment with the Denmark man and when he would call her during our afternoon together she’d make a disgusted face and say, “I really don’t want to go. I’m having so much fun with you girls, I just really need the money tonight and I know he’ll pay me well.”

Painful stuff for the three of us to handle, but by the strength of the Holy Spirit, we kept smiling and compassionate faces on the entire time, encouraging her and Lee that they won’t have to be a bar girl any longer after they start lessons at the ministry. Hope’s story in particular is such a “God thing” because it shows that no matter how focused I can get on my own plans and ideas, God always gets through with His ultimate, divine plan. He knew that I was supposed to minister to Hope the night both Erica and I were feeling defeated, even though I resisted at first and tried going my own direction. Now I am very confident that she (and Lord willing Lee, too) will soon no longer being working at the bar.

Please keep both Hope and Lee in your prayers. Both women have so much potential and both women are so close to seeing the Truth that they can have better lives than the ones their living now. Please also keep me in your prayers, praying that I will continue to relinquish control over my own plans, and seek the Lord’s will on EVERYTHING first and foremost.

Erica, Hope and I at the bar she currently works out. In Jesus’ name, she will quit soon!!