Re-entering America after a year abroad on three different continents was very strange. Sometimes difficult, sometimes glorious, and sometimes I didn’t really know what I was feeling. So, yesterday was my two year anniversary of this re-entry and I didn’t even think about it until my friend sent me a picture to remind me. Life has continued to happen just as it did while I was on the race, no shocker there. My living circumstances have changed dramatically (living out of a backpack to owning my own home), people who are in my life have changed (my circle continues to expand and I keep meeting truly amazing people), and I myself have changed. I love change! I like to be an agent of change in different aspects of my life, and I usually embrace change when it comes.
Throughout these last two years, I have struggled to figure out what me and God look like now. I’ve been out of the country a few times and every time I leave America it’s like God and I are right back in the most amazing relationship ever. Then I come back to distractions, deceit, and divisive tactics of the enemy that run so rampant here in my home country. I realize that the things I thought were difficult on the world race-sleeping on the ground, showering with buckets, getting malaria, being surrounded constantly by people- were not difficult at all compared to dealing with the hate I am constantly experiencing here in America. I should say my fellow Americans are experiencing, because I am not the one being hated. My heart breaks for those who are being persecuted just because they don’t conform to what someone else “believes” is proper or “Godly” and are all of a sudden treated like they are no longer human beings. I consistently go back to the words of Jesus, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength AND love your neighbor as yourself.” Then, I watch my Facebook timeline fill with hate towards our neighbors from those who claim the same Jesus as their Savior. Then, I struggle not to abhor the people who hate. Therefore, dividing the body of Christ more. So, I struggle to define my relationship with Him. He still never changed. The only thing that has changed is my circumstances and myself. He stayed the same. He loves me. He loves the refugees. He loves those who hate on my timeline. He even loves Donald Trump. His love is a love that I cannot fathom no matter how hard I try. His love is so strong it always draws me back to Him, even though He didn’t do anything to change. He’s shown me what He and I look like now and I couldn’t be more full of joy than I have been over these last few weeks. I’m no longer waiting for my next trip out of America to connect with God, I am constantly connected. We meet every morning to talk about my day, my schedule, my friends, my family,my students, and most of all how Great He Is and how His Love Never Changes! I never would have thought I would have been so far from God after listening to His voice, being obedient and abandoning my life, and serving Him for a year in often very uncomfortable circumstances. I was so far away. Two years home and I can finally say- “I’m back.”
