So, we are in Nicaragua at what we call debrief. Debrief is a time for our entire squad (50ish people) to come together and meet with our coaches, squad leaders and mentors. I had zero desire to come to this debrief session. Costa Rica seemed fairly easy as far as having a good contact and nice setup with showers and beds and everything. I didn’t know why we needed to get together this early in the journey. Maybe after month 2 that would make more sense. (This attitude of mine is what this entire blog will be about.)
Up until two days ago, I had very little desire to be on this trip. I absolutely love to travel and help people have a better life. Those are two things that are always on my list when people say, “What do you like to do?” Now, you’re probably wondering why I didn’t want to be here. It sounds like a perfect trip for me right?
Well, I have fought God on this since June when He prompted me to go. I didn’t want to go to training camp, but I did. I didn’t want to leave for launch, but I did. I didn’t want to go to this debrief, but I did. I gave up a little bit of myself here and there, but never fully committed to being an actual team member that is dedicated to the other people with whom I am sharing almost all of 2013. A YEAR of my life!!! This week of debrief has challenged me to actually become an active (key word) part of this team. I was pulling my weight in all of the ministries and service that we did before, but I was not actively participating in the team aspect of everything. I didn’t want to get to know very many people on my squad. I didn’t want to be on the small team I was on. I didn’t want to let these strangers get to know me.
In my non-worldrace life, the majority of my time is spent with people I enjoy being around. Those people I easily gravitate towards. There are a few of those people that I had instant connections with and I have pursued getting to know them. Normally those would be the only people I would get to know. The rest would be written off as weird or people with no common interests or characteristics and they would be simply a name. Honestly, how many people have you done that to? I know I have done it to tons! The challenge that has been placed before me this week is to get to know 50 people, not 50 names. Not only do I need to know them, but I have to learn to love them all! Not because someone told me I do, but because that is why I am here. I truly believe that may be what I am here to learn.
When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is, he said “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.. This is the first and greatest commandment.” I really do love God a lot so if he would have stopped right there. I could have just focused on loving Him and He and I could have had an amazing life together. However, he equates another commandment with that one-”Love your neighbor as yourself.” There was a time where I didn’t love myself much, but now I love myself a lot so that means I have a lot of other people that I have to love a lot! Those people right now are right here at this hostel with me. I am not exactly sure what that love looks like yet, but pretty sure I am going to learn whether I want to or not. The difference between this week and last week is I want to.
A lot of amazing things have happened this week. We have had a lot of tourist time; and I have been pushing myself out of my comfort zone quite a bit. I had an amazing experience the other day that I will probably save for another blog, but for now I want you to know I am fully committed to this World Race. Therefore, it is really important to raise the rest of my funds. If you read this, please share it with someone you haven’t shared my story with yet and pray to see if God is leading you to support me. I can’t do this without your support! THANK YOU!
