who lives.” Sings Ed Cash in his song “Grandy” that I am listening to right
now. It actually fits well with what The Lord showed me today.
walked among the mass graves of those killed in the Khmer Rouge Genocide back
in the late ’70’s. We also visited the torture prisons in Phnom Phen. We
learned a lot about what this country has endured at the hands of a communist
“madman”. We also gained a huge understanding into the hearts of the Cambodians
who survived the mess, which is nearly every person you would walk past in the
streets. It was one of those mornings where your comfortable world of safety,
trust and security is shaken when a little bit more of the true colors of this
world are revealed to you. Yeah, that’s really the only way I can explain it.
We wrapped up the touring and made our way to lunch. I
didn’t have any revelations or visions while we were there for how God would
want us to minister in Cambodia,
but I thought it may take some time to process all the new history we just
learned. So on to lunch. I sat down to eat a Hot Dog combo meal from Lucky
Burger when a young American lady sitting beside Meredith and I introduced
herself and started up a conversation.
She is a fulltime missionary here in Cambodia and so we talked about the
one obvious thing we had in common – ministering to the Cambodians. As we
talked she made what seemed like a random and out of place statement that made
me pause internally. Her statement echoed in my mind when I recognized My Lord
speaking to me. She said to us, “Remember, your ministry is not who you are”
and with that I was pretty much out of the rest of the conversation as I
internalized what God was saying to me.
Lately I have been struggling with trying to fit together
ministry with who I am. It has left me feeling like I will never be satisfied
in life if the ministries I’m involved in don’t include all my hopes, passions,
and dreams. But the Lord said to me today, ministry and who you are, are not
one in the same. Ministry is what God has asked me to do for Him, not who He
wants me to be. That doesn’t mean He wont draw upon my personality, heart,
passions and character within ministry, because He definitely will, but
ministry needs to be based on who Jesus is, not who I am, otherwise I would be
limited to my own abilities and would have no dependency on God to make a
difference in people’s lives. He reminded me that my dreams and passions were
given by Him and He will assuredly tend to them.
As He calmed the storm in my soul, I could clearly see that
He also meant this to be applied to our last ministry opportunity on the Race, Cambodia. The
Lord has challenged me once again to not let these last few weeks be about me.
See, most of our contacts have fallen through once we arrived here, and even
when given options we tend to pick according to how we feel at the time and so
on. The Lord has challenged me again, to dive into what He wants to do among
the nations, not because it’s going to make me happy, or satisfy a need within
me but because God has His heart set on the people of Cambodia and He asked me
to go and tell them.
So here I am in Cambodia, at the end of The World
Race, still working out my salvation. That’s a good thing.
but Christ lives in me.” Galatians 2:20
