(handing out food to the neighbor children on Sunday)
I feel like a movie star….or a prisoner. They're about the same right?
So I made it to month 4! I'm in the Philippines. To be exact I am in Muntinlupa City in a housing unit called Southville. Our room is at Phase 1, Sec. 3, Block 8, Lot 29. According to the pastor the families here are the poorest of the poor and used to live along a railroad until the government took their land and homes and relocated them here. There are somewhere between 4,000 and 7,000 housing units hereso between 18,000 and 30,000 indiiduals. Each family lives in a space that is 14' x 14' including all 8 people of my NEW team.
When we first pulled into Southville we were instantly surrounded by mobs of children. They were hanging off the vehicle, begging for high fives, pulling on any limb of our body that didn't already have a child on it. This continues to be the trend 24 hrs a day everyday. I'm not sure what time they start climbing our metal doors and windows but when I wake up they are already peering into our room at us, yelling for us, waiting for us to open the door…. and I LOVE IT most of the time.
However, I've come to the realization this month that this World Race thing isn't as fun and easy as I thought it would be. I love to love on the people here! The relationships I have with a few of the families here are unlike any other. They genuinely love my friendship and I love sitting and talking with them and genuinely love them equally. But I want to be honest. There are days that I think "I just don't know if I can go anymore".
Everyday I wake up with the knowledge that I will probably have roaches in my bathroom. A shower most likely won't happen and from 7am to 9 pm I will have dozens of children hanging on me, yelling after me, and begging for attention.
but most of all I wake up every single day knowing my heart will be torn and broken and hurting because EVERYTHING…EVERYTHING with-in me wants to give every child attention, wants to be able to give every family food, and clothes, and water and all the things that I don't have.
The blessing and privilege of being able to constantly pour myself into relationships here has left me dry. I'm learning this month that I can't do this on my own. It's great that the pastor gives us words and my team encourages and tries to fill each other but in the end we have to give God time to fill us. No matter what we think we are obligated to (even if it's ministry) our biggest obligation has to be taking the time to spend time with God so that he can fill us. S this month I am learning how to be ok with taking a day "off" to just be with God. Not only that, but I'm learning that I have to trust God. He will provide everything that I cannot provide for these people and the earthly things that I think they need are not always in line with what God knows they need.
Daily, God has to remind me that his word says
Luke 6:20-21 “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours in the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.”
He all so tells us that HE will fill us up and HE makes us whole again and again!!
I'm not exactly sure how to wrap up this blog because this is all a work in progress for me but I am thankful to be broken, I'm thankful that God wants to use me and grow me, I'm thankful I have a God who WANTS to spend time with me, and I am incredibly thankful that God keeps putting me in ministries with children and people who make me smile and laugh every single day!! ( below are just a couple pictures of my friends)
(Beautiful aby. I love this little girl! She was shy at first but now we get to play eeryday with her she loves to play and sing and dance when she doesn't think you're looking 🙂 )
( A few of the more ornery children. Always making us laugh.)
(church time The older woman is Nanay. She is very special to me. She lives next door and I have such a blessed relationship with her family now. It will be so hard to leave)
(handing out food)
