SO, this is kind of an important question and I think it’s important for you to know why I am going.
When I started this journey all I could answer was “because I feel this is my calling” but I’ve searched and prayed and thought about my answer long and hard. How to put it into words…
I’m going because I’m broken. My heart is broken but my heart is also whole.
When I see a person in need or hurting or hungry or lonely I feel a physical weight on my chest. My heart aches like you cannot imagine when I see people around me who aren’t being loved or who don’t have the things they need to survive. I LOVE PEOPLE. I don’t mean the shallow word love. I mean like an overwhelming, heart wrenching love! Like driving around at 1am with my sheet and blankets and food because I can’t sleep with the thought that there is a person in my city hungry, cold, homeless, and thinking they are alone while I’m curled up in warmth. IT’s more than that even, it’s something that is very hard to explain with words.
I’m overwhelmed with the amount of chaos around me and I want to introduce people to the loving, caring, amazing God that saved me from my loneliness and pain. I know it’s pretty unrealistic, especially since I’m rather shy, but I wish I could personally meet every person in the world and tell them where I’ve been and how God found me and saved me. I’m convicted. While I know a lot of people are unresponsive to hearing about Jesus, I’m baffled that people can hear stories of God turning lives around and still not believe! But that’s ok because unbelievers need LOVE too. I constantly pray to be a friendlier, nicer, more welcoming person. I truly want to care about everyone and I want everyone to know that I love them because God loved me and other people loved me enough to show me that.
The overwhelming hurt and love I feel for the world is too much for me to keep to myself. I think I will probably explode if I keep it all locked inside. God has conditioned my heart to love and has “called” me through this feeling to go out and serve the world and learn from the world. There is a world that needs Jesus, a world that needs loved, places that know Jesus and God wants me to go so he can teach me more about him.
So simply put I’m going because I’m broken. I’m going because I’m whole. I’m going because this is God’s calling for me.
