As of lately I am really discovering where my weaknesses lie. I missed the last two days in blogging. Sorry but I'm finding that I struggle very much with discipline. I procrastinate. What used to be just a school problem has trickled over to the rest of my life. I wait for everything as if it will do itself if I wait. I pray about it, I read the bible about it, and I research ways to be better but to no avail. I so badly want to be a disciplined person but I don't have the will power most of the time and I truly feel bound by this. I don't have anything inspirational or uplifting to say today; just that I struggle and that this is not an easy journey. I doubt often.
I start to have doubts about going as I get attacked. My parents aren't particularly happy I'm going, not that they ever act happy for anything I do, but it would be nice for a change to have their support. My school loan situation is a MEEESSSS. It turns out I can't defer most of my loans so they will go into repayment unless I'm enrolled in school and neither my parents nor I can afford that kind of money right now. On top of everything raising financial support has been very hard and so far it doesn't see like many people I know are will to stand behind me. It's all very discouraging but I know these are just attacks. I know this is what God is calling me to right now and I know the funds will come in eventually it's just a difficult process. So, despite all I will keep pushing on with everyone partnering to help the world with me or with just God and the source of support he sends.
These are the things on my heart this week and I pray that you will pray with me throughout next week for God to guide the way through this process!
