Here is what happened in Honduras after getting back from hanging out with my mom in Guatemala. Our whole squad, yes 52 of us, stayed at a ministry called Zion’s Gate just outside the capital city. It is run by an American named Tony, who has lived in Honduras for eight years now. He gets to know boys living in a run down village called Los Pinos and gives those that have bad home lives and are willing the opportunity to live with him.
Really he is like Peter Pan and his property is Neverland. And his boys are the lost boys. Tony gives them the opportunity to have hope and a future. He teaches them to believe. Tony is a boy at heart, so his boys look up to him and respect him so much. He treats the boys as his own and teaches them responsibility and integrity. Tony goes through trials similar to that of any parent, and humbly seeks the Lord’s guidance.
We did a lot of manual labor around the property and we had the opportunity to go overnight to a ministry called Heart of Christ where Gracie takes in victims of rape and incest. She has a background in criminal justice and works directly with the national police. We feel in love with the four teenage girls and their babies. The youngest one, Monica, was also the wisest. She got pregnant at 11, had her daughter at 12, and is now 13. When I found out her age I was shocked because she is such a great mother, and is so kind and respectful to everyone.
One morning we were holding the babies while the girls did school. As I held Katherine, Monica’s daughter, I thought to myself ‘I could be your grandma.’ I then started thinking about how girls under similar circumstances would be coping in America. The girls there smiled, engaged with us, and treated one another well, for the most part. I pictured broken, hurting girls who were unhappy, with self-destructive tendencies, who had no idea how to care for their newborns in a similar facility in the states. I saw girls depressed and unable to live a part of normal society. I began to wonder ‘why are these girls so different? Why are they happy and such loving mothers?’
The culture they live in is focused on survival. They have been taught to survive. Justice is not common in Honduras. When Gracie moved to Honduras 1% of cases sought justice. Now that she has been there over 70% of cases have claimed justice for victims, putting many criminals behind bars. Seeing people who have done horrible things be put away is not a reality these girls know. Because justice is not a cultural norm, they have learned to cope with whatever happens to them while focusing on the present day and surviving.
There is so much more than meets the eye of these girls who seemed so happy and cope so well with such hardships. I thought about how easily these little babies could repeat the lives of their mothers, being content with only surviving. If only these girls could have counselors who would listen and help them heal from the deep wounds inside of them. Then I heard God whisper “Okay, so what are you going to do about it?”
‘What?! Me, counsel? I don’t think so. Come on God, I thought we already went through this. Remember, back in sophomore year of college, I decided I don’t want to deal with other people’s problems. I know you’ve been showing me that’s kind of selfish but really me, be a counselor? I thought we had moved on to other options.’
And then I remembered what I wrote my senior capstone paper on in college: how parental disclosure affects individual decision making. Basically what parents share with their children about their experiences will affect the lives of their children in helping them to learn from the experience of their parents. I love that concept. Days before going to Gracie’s I remember asking friends over breakfast what their parents shared with them about when they were our age. The topic fascinates me.
I am passionate about advocating parents to share their life experience with their children at the right time. I have been since I was 16. I was hanging out with my friend’s mom when she confided in me details about her rebellious teenage years. I asked if she had shared about it with her daughter, to which she replied no, that it was a need-to-know basis. I remember being infuriated because her daughter was shortly after admitted to rehab. Her mom had been just where she was years before, but because of pride she was unable to share her life experience with her daughter.
I took AP psychology my senior year and I was fascinated. I actually enjoyed learning in that class so I figured it would be a good major. Before the race God began to convict me that ‘not wanting to deal with other people’s problems’ was quite selfish and I began to wonder if he would change my desire over the course of the race. As He has brought me through this CRAZY journey, opening my heart to more, more emotions, more needs of others, more compassion, I am realizing that my purpose lies in listening and providing hope. AKA: counseling.
So, now that I’ve finally said yes to the Lord as He’s ignited an old fire in my heart, I’m praying about my next step after the race. I am looking into going to grad school next year and possibly being a missionary counselor offering my services on a consistent basis to many ministries. I would love to live in a culture where there is such a need for helping people heal from emotional wounds and where counseling is uncommon.
The Lord taught me in Honduras that He will use everything in our lives for His glory! In hearing about Tony and Gracie’s lives before coming to Honduras I was amazed to find that what they are doing now is greatly impacted by their experiences before coming to the Lord.
Tony grew up in a mormon family in Utah. He was a 30-something bachelor business owner with a nice car and nice house who thought he had it all. When he went searching for more, God met him. His rebellious teenage years and his experience owning his own youth camp prepared him for where he is now.
Gracie had been the victim of abuse before she found the Lord. Her past experiences and degree in criminal justice give her the abilities she uses now to seek justice for the Kingdom of God. She claims ‘I am thankful for everything that has happened in my past, because every day I use it for God’s glory!’
I am already seeing how my life experiences and gifts line up, focusing on where the Lord is calling me next. I can’t wait to say in 30 years, “Lord, thank you for everything in my past. For with those experiences, lessons, people, journeys, and mistakes I am able to do what You created me for.”
All of iSquad the day we left Honduras 🙁
