Two years ago I did not think I would be sitting in India, sipping Chai from the corner stand, peeing on the roof, and spitting toothpaste from my balcony. But here I lay in the warm darkness under a mosquito net, hoping none find a way in. I love my life! Most days I forget how lucky I am to be halfway across the world seeing what you are doing and using me as your vessel.
Valentine’s Day is a day to become consumed by love. A day that single people can become self-focused and think about what life would be like if we had that other person to do everything with. Someone who understood you without having to explain yourself, who knew exactly how to encourage you, love you, and make you laugh. Yes, those are desires of my heart, but in His timing, not my own.
The only real relationship I had was on my terms. I expressed my feelings first, I initiated our hang-outs, and pushed and pushed until finally we were dating. I am not proud of this, but am so thankful that God taught me so much through that relationship.
Lately God has been showing me over and over again how much better things are when I surrender and allow Him to have COMPLETE control. I am a go-getter. People call me driven. They say I give my all in almost everything I do. When I want something, I go get it, whatever it takes. I make things happen. My future is an area that I can make small steps to prepare for, but once I get to a couple doors, I have to pray and seek direction as to which door My Dad is leading me towards. There are some points when it seems like I haven’t seen a door in months and am aimlessly wandering around, but in those times I know He’s got me, just as He always has.
So on this Valentine’s day I will marvel at the freedom that My Father has given me. I am so thankful for the hedge of protection he has put around me. That I have never had to experience pain, heartbreak, or suffering. Although I used to think my testimony was boring, I know that it has the fingerprint of God’s love and protection all over it.
I got to speak at a house church the other day about this passage and what God is teaching me through it.
“The son of the slave wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God’s promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God’s own fulfillment of his promise.” [Galations 4:23]
God reminded me that human attempt to bring about God’s will (like Hagar) will cause us to be enslaved, while allowing God to fulfill His promises (like Sarah) will bring FREEDOM!!!
I am free and loved, and I know that You have me in the palm of Your hand, stroking my head, whispering in my ear to wait, because You have things in store better than I can think up or even imagine.
