I love adventure. That aspect of the race appealed to me from the moment I heard about it. Going on a safari in the best park in Africa, hitch hiking in Swaziland, riding a toboggan down the Great Wall, going spelunking in a Filipino cave, and scuba diving in the Philippine Sea are just a few of the adventures I have gotten to go on thus far on the race. I usually throw myself into any opportunity to experience something new that is a little scary. Going caving last week gave me those butterflies in the bottom of my stomach mixed with fear and excitement.
When talking to our contact, William, about the cave I got nervous knowing that there are parts when the water goes up to the top of the cave. In most things in my life that make me afraid, it makes me even more eager to face them head on. Five minutes into the cave bats flew into my face and we saw a spider bigger than my hand. I will admit that I screamed quite often, but loved every second of it!
Our caving experience was seen through the dim light of our headlamps that reached only a couple feet in front of us, while our feet stumbled to find steady footing in and out of murky, pitch-black water. There were many times when I hit my head on hanging stalactites and I have killer bruises to prove the countless times my shins found invisible rocks in the not-so-clear water. We had a 15 year old guide who knew the cave well but could not speak English. He showed us the right way, but he could not warn us of any dangerous spots. We were literally walking by blind faith. Faith that there was a way out. Faith that we wouldn’t be severely harmed. Had I been alone in the cave, I could not have handled it. But knowing that there were ten other people in the cave gave me assurance and slight peace.
The Lord has been showing me how to live out faith knowing that He is in control. Even though I sometimes feel like I can’t see a foot in front of me and that I keep getting banged up from things and people around me, I’m seeing how God is softening my heart and building my trust in Him. Plus I am not doing it alone, I have a thirsty community that comes alongside me as God is showing me how to share my emotions with them.
It has been a constant prayer for the past couple months that God would give me opportunities to express myself and that I would feel emotions. Oh how God shows up in His perfect timing. There have been many incidences that I have not wanted to pull someone aside and let them know how they’ve made me feel. It’s easier to let things go, to act and truly believe that others’ actions did not and do not affect me. But this is a LIE! God is using my emotions to teach me and others. It’s a gift when someone confides in or shares who they are with me, and I can bless others in sharing with them.
God knows my adventurous heart. He knows that I love to be challenged and out of my comfort zone. He knows my thirst for more. I’m thankful that when I cry out God listens and He gives me the desires of my heart. He continues to give me opportunities to grow in boldness and in faith. And even though it’s scary and I get butterflies in my stomach and crazy dreams as I think and pray about what the Lord is calling me to, I know He is good and that the crazy adventure that He has planned for me has just begun.
