I have a Swazi daughter. That’s what I tell everyone we meet at least. Her name is Nothile (no-tee-le) and she is three years old. Since we met we have been inseparable. She is known to follow me everywhere I go, even to the outhouse once where I could hear her pounding on the door to let her in.
Her mother Primrose brings her to work, at the community center where we live, every morning. I would be perfectly content hanging out with Notihle all day, but have still found some time for ministry at the clinic and with neighborhood kids.
Although we do not speak the same language, we understand each other in this weird way. She reminds me (and my teammates) so much of myself and I’m beginning to realize that the way I see her is the same way that God sees me.
She is usually laughing, her smile contagious, running away from someone who is chasing her. She is known to be mischievous, but listens and obeys quickly to her mother.
Her clothes are often caked with dirt and grass stains due to her choice of crawling and scooting rather than walking. She jumps, a lot, everywhere! Like I do.
[her friend Meso, also 3, using a HUGE knife on her mango… NBD]
One day she put a piece of paper over her face and ran around the room growling and scaring people. I LOVE to scare people!
While eating she likes to show me what’s going on in her mouth… like I do…
Another day after we shared so much fish that we were about to burst, she raised up my shirt to compare our big bellies. I ALWAYS see how big my belly is after eating!
I have seen her cry maybe twice. Once when she and her mother left one day, I think because she was sad to leave me… She is tough and often wrestles with the boys, rarely crying when she gets hurt. When I hold her in my arms she sometimes hits me hard, then quickly hugs back just as hard.
During feedback the other day I was told that I go all in in the things I do. Nothile goes all in with the things she does. When she plays, she plays hard. When she hugs she does it with her whole being. As well as a three year old can, she knows who she is. She walks about confidently, not letting anything get her down.
[Nothile carried my bag to the driveway when we left]
Primrose got a good laugh when I told her that I’ve been telling others that her daughter is mine. “But she is black and you are white… did they think you married a Swazi?” she asked. “No,” I answered “I just told them she was mine when they objected.”
[bathtime]
I claim Nothile as mine. It will be so difficult to hug her for the last time when we leave Swaziland. God claims me as His, even when others object. My carefree spirit brings him joy. He revels in my smile and exuberant laugh. The way that I love, play, and obey Him with my all pleases Him. My Daddy never wants me to depart from Him.
[Noti hates kisses, but she FINALLY gave me a kiss as we said our goodbyes]
Today I was sitting with her mother and she said “What a great life to be a child.” We talked about how Nothile depends on her for everything. When she is hungry she runs to her mother asking for food. When she is tired she falls asleep in her mother’s lap. When she wants to play she grabs on to my hand and runs.
I want to depend on my Daddy for my every need. I want to live with a childlike faith, knowing that He will provide. I choose to live a carefree life, without worry as to what the future holds because I know my Daddy has me resting in His huge lap, waiting for me to peer into His eyes and ask for my next heart’s desire.
