Ouch!!
Well the good news is God has been softening my heart like I asked. The thing with that is, that means I feel, and it hurts. Leaving my new family behind has made my heart ache more than I can remember it doing in a long time. I had to sneak out after breakfast on Monday because I couldn’t take another good bye. I took a taxi to the train station and hopped on a bus that left almost immediately.
As it drove out of town passing the camp were all my squad members were listening to Mike Pascall speaking I started to have a break down. I could barely hold back tears as I rode the crowded bus into the beautiful Transivainan alps. Judging by glances from some of my fellow passengers I am certain the anguish was showing through clearly on my face. It was all I could do not to just melt down then and there. As we rallied up the twisty roads, I started to take in the mist shrouded, granite peaks that surrounded us and the tears held off for now. But every part of me wanted to still be with them.
I started to look through the little scrapbook my team Ezra had given me, reading their hearts that they had put down on paper for me. All I could think about was how amazing the people are that I spent the last eight months with, how privileged I was to get to spend time with each and every one of them. And, how excited I am to see where they go next in life when I will to tell someone “I knew them when” and they don’t believe me and when I get to read about how they are being the change that this world needs. ( I am on a plane above Green Land and I am about to break down again)
When I got to my hostel near the Bucharest airport I was greeted by a wonderful couple that own the place. They handed me a key to the room and said that they were going into town and we could work out the details later. I took a much needed long hot shower and went back into my room and cried. Man this hurts, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I was almost enjoying it, its been so long sense something really hurt it felt good to know I was gaining back my heart. I know that I am following were the Lord is leading. And I am glad that I love all me people on L-squad even though it hurts now. It was well worth this pain. The only thing I regret is not going deeper even though it would hurt more now.
And now I am in a plane over Green Land and I barley got through this blog without blubbering. The only thing thats helping me hold it together is know that I will see my family and friends soon. And the that this is not the end. L-squad, I expect you all to keep in touch, I know I will be blogstalking you all 🙂 And you better come out and visit Oregon, other wise I will have to come and hunt you down in whatever part of the world you are hiding in 🙂 And while I am threatening you all, I will add. That none of you are allowed to settle, you all have so much potential, I don’t even know where to start. And I think the only thing that would be harder than leaving you would be seeing you not fufill all the awesome things God has for you, on and off the race. I love each and every one of you and can’t wait to hear the stories from the rest of your race. Which means you have to BLOG 🙂
