“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”
James 1:22
When I seek God I don’t always get the answers I’m looking for. I remember fasting for the first time, it was a grueling 3 day water fast. I sought and sought God about various things in my life, and various direction I was looking for. But all I got for God was that I should name my daughter Brea or Brean after the Bereans in the bible(read Acts 17). I don’t have a daughter, but I have realized now that God has given me this promise to hold onto. What I’ve learned in fasting is that God usually uses my fasts to draw me closer to him, and direction usually comes later. Ironic isn’t it? The purpose of seeking God more intently is to draw ourselves closer to him.
While I was waiting for my green light from God for The World Race, something amazing happened. The bible began to come alive. Although this has happened to me before, it amazes me every time. It’s like becoming an ipod, once you get plugged into the source of knowledge, the owner clicks and drags data over and downloads it into the library.. In other words God started speaking all at once, bam, bam, bam, all throughout my day. God started revealing things to me about my life, and what he wanted me to do, and the hidden mysteries of the bible. God just started connecting all the dots in my life, and I begin to receive clarity.
I was reading my bible that day at lunch. I was supposed to be reading in the new testament because that is where I left off for the morning, but my bible opened up to Isaiah 6. Isaiah 6 is the chapter where Isaiah receives a vision from the Lord. I began reading:
“In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne,
high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him
stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
the whole earth is full of his glory!”
And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.”
I can’t imagine what Isaiah felt at that moment. To behold the glory of God. Can you imagine? What would you do? What would you say? Isaiah was in complete awe of the majesty of God, and he realized who he was in the presence of the lord. “Woe is me! For I am lost.” This passage leaped out at me. Here Isaiah is, minding his own business in life and bam God hits him with this vision and has completely changed his perspective in life.What stuck out to me specifically are 3 things:
1.) Revelation: Isaiah, in a mere moment in God’s presence became aware of himself, his condition, and his surroundings. His reaction? Was woe is me, I am lost, I am a sinner, and I am unclean!(paraphrased) In the presence of God you receive clarity and things in your life are revealed.
2.) Redemption: God redeems Isaiah through the cleansing of his sins. But not only were his sins atoned for, his GUILT was taken away. The guilt of a sinner, we’ve all felt this and some of us continue to. God interrupts Isaiahs life not only to reveal Himself, but to redeem Isaiah.
3.) Response: What else can he do? After Isaiah receives this revelation and God redeems him, it’s now time for Isaiah to respond, and God first checks his heart with a question”
And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.”
This passage hit me hard that day. I felt like God was checking my heart…. what would my response be?
I have come to a point in life where I realize that God has given me a revelation and redeemed me but my response has been lacking. When I first rekindled my relationship with God I was on fire, I couldn’t contain the freedom I had received through Christ and I sought ways to share it with others daily. Now 2 years later, I was searching for my own dreams and fulfilling my own goals and desires. Years ago God had asked me “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” and I had replied with “I dunno God, but I’m going to go over here and do my thing, let me know when you are ready to bless it and me….”
I have since changed my response in the most radical way I that I could find. During a worship service a few years ago hands folded across my chest I heard the worship leader call out to the congregation “If you had one chance, just one chance to worship God, what would that look like?” Puzzled, I had no idea but I just thought I’d dance and shout, so I did, and I have never felt more free in the presence of God. This same question has popped up again in my mind but a little bit different:
If you had one chance, just one chance to do something big in your life for God, what would that look like?
I have discovered recently that faith isn’t something God gives me, but something that comes from hearing the word of God, and my response to what I’ve heard. If Jesus said to do it, then what am I waiting for? Now is my chance.
God has shown me so much in the last few weeks, He has set up my entire life for ministry, and I’ve dodged it, ran from it, and tried to alter my plans. But now willingly I’ve decided to turn my back on my plans, and change my response to his call:
And so I go….
“Here I am Lord, send me!”
And I’ve never felt so free!
