Im going to let yall in on a secret thats really not so secret the enemy will try to disguise Himself as truth and talk you right out of the very things God has for you.
The hard way is exactly how i figured out just how true that was. In my blog Fear Destroys God Redeems I shared that i was on the race once before I left early then said no to a second race after being re accepted and here i am now accepted for the third time and going on the race again. This time I want to dive deeper into why I came home and if your even for a second considering leaving the race especially if you’re on the field why you shouldn’t.
Fundraising can often be a huge weight on your shoulders I know that first hand from my first race, I needed over $2000 dollars in 24 hours just to be aloud to go to training camp and in 24 hours God exceeded that let me make sure you heard me over $2000 dollars in 24 hours. Then launch quickly approached and I was in need of a lot of money to even be aloud to show up and launch with my squad, again God Provided he exceeded what I needed and sent me into the nations.
From there you’d think wow Gods doing great things for his fundraising and its never going to be a problem I mean just look at how God moved. Problem is that wasn’t the case sure I had unwaivering Faith that God would bring the money but I was putting no effort of my own into fundraising and basically trying to take advantage of Gods power in the wrong way. I literally got to the point that i said “well if God still wants me here the money will come in” and was giving no effort in return. God was calling me to move to take action and i was saying ehh you got it dude you’re all powerful so I dont need to give any effort.
I cant even begin to tell yall how incredibly wrong I was, sure God is all powerful and sure He could drop all the money in our laps if He wanted but what would we learn? What growth would we have? for me there wasn’t any I became like a spoiled child feeling entitled to Gods money.
So with that being said and us closing in on the month three deadline I was so determined that if God wanted me to stay the money would be there. Basically I was challenging God as if He was going to give into me and just hand me the money because I was being a stubborn bonehead about it. Guess what that money didn’t come so then I decided it was clearly my answer to go home. But really I was saying well fine you dont want to just hand me the money then ill go home.
When we left for India the only thing I could think about was going home and when we got there the desire grew stronger and stronger to go home. I had let satan himself trick me into believing God didnt want me there anymore even though I had refused to give effort on fundraising.
The culture in India is so vastly different than anything i had ever experienced so I was uncomfortable, then again there was satan convincing God wanted me to go home and that the being uncomfortable was a sign of that. I was so terribly wrong! The race done right and life done right for Christ is never about being comfortable.
At this point I was completely checked out and 100% positive not changing my mind that God was calling me to come home. Even when my team and squad leader spoke such truth into me I didnt let it effect me in the right ways because i was so deadset on my being right.
One of the most resonating statements from my Squad Leader was this: God knew this was an 11 month trip when He called you to it.
So to yall on the field now or getting ready to go or even just accepted to a squad hear me when i say God knows all you were accepted for a reason you have been called here for a reason! I know its hard I know its rough and uncomfortable but so what. Giving your life and living for God isn’t about comfort! He knew when he called you this is an 11 month trip and I can gauruntee you the second you leave you almost instantly will realize you were wrong.
Before I even left India I knew I was wrong but I had to keep pushing the idea that I was right because it was too late for me. I refused to open up to my team about what was really going on inside me and let satan take my thoughts and run. I was right on the doorsteps of radical change and ran away from it.
Sure He redeemed my choices but there is so much trouble you can miss out on if you trust the Lord and stay. Even when I said no to the second race it was because I let satan force me to believe God couldn’t take care of everything back here and that I needed to stay.
So heres my plea to you open up to your squad to your team dive deep into community and dont leave your thoughts all bottled up because eventually the enemy can try to come in masked as truth and drive you out. Realize that God has called you to it and He wants to see you through it He doesn’t want you to just up and leave the race under your own power for your own reasons, let Gods power lead!
We must take the pen out of our hands and give it back to God it might be our stories but He is the only author!
