The work the Lord began in Haiti has definitely carried over this month in Honduras. I have come to realize, and actually believe for the first time, that my worth is defined by the man God has made me, not the things I can accomplish. Here is some of what I’ve experienced here that has brought me to this realization…
This month my team is working with a ministry based in Valle de Angeles, Honduras called Hope at Hand. Our ministry contacts, David and Scarleth, are our age, but have a truly remarkable ministry here even though they are so young. Generally in the mornings we go to a small, rural public school to bring food and a bible lesson to the 18 kids there. In addition, our work there has consisted of sanding and painting the inside of the school and the doors, and leveling out the hill in the front of the school to create a flat surface for the kids to play on. The children here are incredibly polite, although shy, but have incredible faith in the Lord, which has been truly inspiring.
After eating lunch every day, we spend our afternoons at a small orphanage just up the road from the house where we are staying. The children here grabbed a piece of my heart right away, as they did with the rest of my team. Sadly, the kids here have been cycled through several other private, and government-run orphanages before. They have been placed in this place specifically because they have experienced sexual abuse in their previous orphanages. This home has finally provided them with a safe haven with a psychologist on staff, two friendly and protective German Shepherds, tutors to help with schoolwork, two swings, and tons of beautiful, green grass to play on. These kids are so friendly and loving it is ridiculous. We go there Monday thru Thursday to teach them English, share the Gospel through stories, and just play games with them. They bring all of us a ton of joy and laughter every day we are with them. One little girl, Mayra, has taken it upon herself to become my best friend here in Honduras. Mayra is eight years old, wears big circular glasses, and is the smallest of all the children there. I can relate. Every time I walk up to the orphanage, she yells “Andrés!” as soon as she sees me and sprints towards me, greeting me with a hug. She then proceeds to lead me by the hand wherever she wants to go play or sit for the lesson. Each of my teammates has another one or two or three of the children who they have grown attached to in a similar way.
It didn’t take long for all of us to acknowledge how hard it will be to leave them at the end of the month, and this truth became even more real and difficult to handle a few days ago. As we have come to find out, the people who provide funding for the orphanage, back in the U.S., will no longer be doing so in a month’s time from now. This means the children will be moved, once again. This means the children run the risk of being sent back to the large orphanages (that have been described to us as child prisons by multiple sources) where abuses have taken place prior. This is all we know. We want more answers, but they don’t exist. We have weighed all our options. We have contacted anyone we know that might be able to help. David and Scarleth have tried relentlessly to get a hold of the powers that be, but have heard nothing back. All of us are heartbroken, and want to help, but cannot make it better. It is out of our hands. All we can do is pray.
We can pray that the only issue is the funding, and somehow it comes through and the orphanage stays open. We can pray that each of the kids is relocated to foster care or another safe orphanage with people who love and care about them and can take good care of them. We can pray that no matter where they are sent, they know that God will never change, will never leave them, and will never stop loving them. That last prayer is the hardest, because it takes the most trust in the Lord to pray it. The truth is, we don’t have the power to save the kids from the world, as hard as it is for each of us to come to grips with that. But God does. There is power in prayer that goes far beyond what we can control ourselves, even if we never see what comes to fruition.
I cannot save the orphanage. I cannot save the kids from the undeservedly cruel, unfair world they live in. I cannot do much of anything in most situations. But God can, and Jesus is their salvation. And that is enough.
Through all of this, the Lord has given me an unexplainable peace beyond my understanding. Normally when faced with a situation like this, I would take it all on myself. That’s what I’ve done all my life. If people I love and care about are hurting, I take it on myself to make it all better. When I can’t, I feel like I have failed them, and it all becomes my fault because I couldn’t fix it. But not this time. I love and care about each of the kids at the orphanage, but I don’t need to fix their lives, I just need to pray and trust that God has them – because he does.
The world tells us constantly, through so many means, that our value and purpose comes from the things we can do, what we can accomplish. I’ve lived so much of my life as if this were true, and it has led to constant disappointment in myself. But I know different now. I know my worth isn’t quantified by all the things I can or can’t do well. My value comes from the Lord and who he has made me to be. One of my squadmates pretty much put it like this: Every time we tell ourselves we aren’t good enough, it’s like slapping God in the face and telling Him he didn’t do a good enough job making us – like we know better. Realizing this, I now refuse to live a life based on accomplishments. I not only needed this breakthrough for myself, but for those God has already placed in my path. Those kids at the orphanage, you reading this right now, and everyone else needs to know this truth: YOU ARE ENOUGH, BECAUSE GOD, THE ONE WHO MADE YOU, SAYS YOU ARE ENOUGH. Believing this truth for the first time has been life-changing, and I’m praying I never go back to believing anything different.
With that, I need to ask for two things. First, please pray for the children at the orphanage. Just pray that there is a solution, and God is at the center of any decision being made in regard to these kids. And trust God is in control.
Second, as I am one week away from my next fundraising deadline, please pray that God facilitates people giving, in joy and obedience to what He is doing through me and my teammates. I need about $1,500 in the next 7 days to continue on the World Race, and follow what I wholeheartedly believe is God’s plan for me.
Finally, I plan on updating this if and when I hear anything else about the state of the orphanage, but for now, pray.
Update:
As of a few days ago, I have met my next fundraising deadline, and am less than $5,000 away from being fully funded for the World Race! Praise God.
More importantly, the Lord has provided a way for the orphanage to remain open. For details on how you and those you know can help save the orphanage, please check out the fundraising page at https://www.tilt.com/campaigns/childrens-villages-of-honduras
Please earnestly and diligently pray for these children, as God has opened a door to save their home, and if called, please give whatever you can. These kids have gotten a raw deal in life, one that has left me convicted about the foolish things in life I’ve dared to complain about in the past. They need some help, just as we all do sometimes. If you can give, give. If you can share the link, share. If you can pray, pray. But most of all, trust that God has these kids, and he’s not about to abandon them.
