I wrote this back in mid September, but I found it on my computer while cleaning some stuff up today and thought I would post it. Things have gotten better since I wrote this, but a lot of it still applies to life.
You would think that if you lived
the life I have lived the past few years.
The World Race 11 months of non-stop change, the following almost two
years of fairly regular changes (moving, changing jobs, meeting new people,
starting new jobs) that I would be like all about the change thing, but in
reality, I hate it. Well, let me restate
that, I hate it when it’s not a change I have chosen. If I make the decision to make a change in
life then I’m pretty okay with that. I
hate when life changes without my permission.
Case in point, where I currently
find myself. A few months ago I was
living with my best friend, with other good friends all within a couple mile
radius. I had community with a great
group of people who were amazing. We
could dig deep, and challenge one another.
It was the closest thing to World Race community I have had since coming
home. Yeah, I was only working a few
hours a day and not making much, but I loved the job I had and the Lord was
providing and making ends meet. I was
investing in the lives of some great teenagers.
I was growing with the Lord. It
was a great time in life.
Now, my community is spread
out. We don’t live close anymore. My best friend/roommate is an hour away most
of the week. I’m getting more hours and
my job is good, but it also sucks up a lot more time. (Although perhaps that is good, if I had too
much time I would just have more time to be bummed.) I’m still growing with the Lord, but there is
something about having a community to push and challenge you that makes that
growth even better. In short, I miss
community. I miss what I had.
I know that right now the Lord has
put each of us in the place he wants us.
Of that I am thoroughly convinced.
However, it doesn’t mean I like it right now. In fact in case you haven’t caught it, I
don’t like it. I know that it is good
though. I know I am here and each of them
is where they are meant to be because we are in the places we can best bring
glory to the Lord. I miss what use to
be. Yet I hold on the hope that what I
have had to give up will lead to something as good if not better in the
future.
I would like to quote a fellow
racer who wrote a blog about a month ago that spoke to me.
“Basically, it’s so easy to see
what is hard.
It’s so easy to think I deserve better.
It’s always easy to crave easy.
But God didn’t want easy for me.
He wanted good.
And what is good is so much better than what is
easy.
Because good is hard.”
Candace Breauxl
Change isn’t easy, but it’s good.
