Hi guys and gals 🙂 I actually wrote this back on Feb 18, 2013 while I was in Mexico visiting my grandparents home for the last time (they moved to the states, woot!). I was feeling very sad for many reasons, and because of certain situations and certain words said, I was just down. God, being the awesome daddy that He is, inspired me to write this during that time. It may be for just me, but I love sharing so I hope you can get something from this too 🙂 I love you, whether I know you or not, I do. And Jesus does too, but like 1924872934587234 times more!
So God decided to write a love story: only this one doesn't have a happy ending. The thing is, this love story doesn't have an ending. And if it did, the ending would be nothing short of glorious.
See, there was this girl. She was young, smart, and very caring. She said please and thank you, and always worried about others to make sure they were okay.
This girl though, she never felt worthy of love. So she grew up thinking no one would ever love her the way she saw love was portrayed everywhere.
She would think for hours, but hour became days, days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years of thinking of why everyone else around her was loved yet she was left without a single shed of hope to someday be loved.
This girl though, she believed in God. She loved Him the way she thought she ought to, and she knew in her mind that someday she would feel the love she was promised. That wasn't enough though.
She slowly started getting addicted to self; started to do things that helped her feel good "at that moment" because all her past experiences taught her that long term doesn't matter because she doesn't feel loved anyway so why couldn't she 'enjoy' the now?
Lies of unworthiness became allies with bitterness and self-hatred in her heart that made her even question: why does God bother with me? He knows I'm going to continue to fail Him! There's no point!
But there was a point. Because what this girl couldn't understand, no matter how hard she tried, was that God's love for her doesn't change just because she does. He doesn't waver away from her like other people did when she messed up.
Sadly though, the lies were starting to become overwhelming. A constant battle was fought between her and the fallacies of satan.
But Jesus decided to step in. Even though He doesn't want us to rely on human feelings, He loved her so much, He let her feel His love in a very peaceful, yet magnificent way that went straight into her heart and soul.
He didn't let it last forever, but He knew that small push is all she needed to pursue Him without ceasing. So she began to pray real prayers, prayers full of truth, honest truth, repentance, reverence, and most importantly: love.
She began to become intimate with Christ by studying The Word, and boy was her world rocked!
She was amazed. And even though she didn't "feel" Gods love, His love became so true to her, that she finally gave everything up and said "Lord, YOU are all I need. The more I grow, the more evident it is to me that I need you. You love me, thank you! I love you too!"
And even though she does become scared from time to time that she may fall again, this time and from now until the day she goes home she knows Gods truth and love not only in her mind, but in her heart, soul, and spirit too.
She has a love story written because she knows who true love is. And true love died on a cross and rose again about two-thousand years ago. <3
