Why go?
I wish I could say I've been on tons of mission trips before and I just knew from day 1 this is what God wanted me to do.
Fact of the matter is: this is my first missions trip. Ever.
How do I know this is what God has for me?
Besides some amazing intercessors pouring grace and encouraring words into my life, God has literally been preparing me for this my whole life.
I didn't grow up in a Christian home. I wasn't a missionary kid. And I sure as heck did not think I would ever go to any other country (besides Mexico to see family) for any other reason than pleasure.
As a kid and through being a teen I went to 8 different schools, lived in 5 different cities in two different states (okay, that one isn't bad), I never had strong friendships that lasted longer than 1-2 years max.
I am fluent in english and spanish. I can also pick up a language in a shockingly quick manner.
My family and I battled through family hardships from different forms of abuse, bankruptcy, loss of jobs, hatred amongst ourselves, and overall distance.
I'm not saying God wanted me to go through hardships, I'm not saying it was Gods plan to let things happen the way they did in my life.
There are somethings that even I still wonder, God, how will you use this?
All in all though: everything I've gone through has put me in the place I'm at now. I went through some of the hardest times regarding family issues, self-worth, romances, work, and the list can go on.
Let's be real, I wasn't praising God through all of the stuff I went through. I cried out once or twice (or twenty million, but who's counting?)
And I'm not saying I won't miss my family, friends, or home here in the states.
What I am saying is: God has literally used everything that has happened in my life to prepare me to do His work that I would only be able to do by letting God use my messes and turn them into His glory.
When I heard about the race, I though "nah, that's not for me. That's for people that are "super Christians" and have the greatest relationship with God. God wouldn't choose me"
The more I fought God with the thought of ever becoming a missionary, the more passion he put in my soul for it.
Who else but the God of the universe can take a hardened and stubborn heart and make it melt while receiving His unconditional love?
I have a corporate job. Stable hours, full benefits, and TONS of opportunity for growth. Since I started there at 18, the chances of me turning banking into a career were higher than high.
One night, my mentor looks me in the eyes and says "get your passport, God is calling you to go."
What he and his wife didn't know was that God had been telling me that I was going to quit my job soon and leave.
Literally, all I knew was that my "american dream" job was not what God wanted for my life.
I was scared to the core.
Even though my family has never been "rich", we've never gone without the absolute necessities. How was I about to trust God to provide finances for me to become a missionary if I don't even know what financially relying on Him even means??
For weeks to come, God put "evangelist" literally everywhere I turned.
I finally applied.
& since you're reading this, you know I got in.
I still ask God though, why me?
Why God?
What makes me qualified? What do you see that you want to use?
I have no answers.
I don't think I ever will.
But I know and I trust that God has put a fire in my heart for His people.
To reach the lost and broken.
To share his love and hope.
To live as though nothing but Jesus matters, because in reality, nothing but Jesus matters.
I may never truly be qualified.
I may never reach 1 million people.
But God has called me by name, and He has called me daughter.
He has called me wonderful.
He has called me loved.
And He has called me to go.
