“For most of us it is very hard to spend a useless hour with God. It is hard precisely because by facing God alone we also face our own inner chaos. We come in direct confrontation with our restlessness, anxieties, resentments, unresolved tensions, hidden animosities, and longstanding frustrations. Our spontaneous reaction to all this is to run away and get busy again, so that we at least can make ourselves believe that things are not as bad as they seem in our solitude.” ~ Henri Nouwen
I am truly blessed to work at a place that pays its staff to engage in a full day of soul care. They brought in a couple of facilitators to guide us through the day, but most of the day was spent in solitude. It was a gift. They gave us Psalm 51 to read through, meditate on, and pray about.
“Blot out my transgressions, blot out my iniquities.”
This part stood out to me. I don’t want to carry the baggage of my past sins. My mind wanders to some “big” sins I’ve done in the past. But sin is sin and I sin everyday. My pride likes to tell me I don’t really sin that bad, I’m doing pretty well in life. But once again, realizing and accepting the fact that I am a sinner and I NEED Jesus to blot out my transgressions DAILY, not just the “big” sins.
*Humility*
Though I may not always be verbally boastful in pride, it’s on the inside. I know my thoughts, my inner attitudes, and so does God. I am not better than others, it is only by God’s grace that I am saved and have true eternal freedom.
Humility is the garment of God ~ Isaac the Syrian
(7th century)
For whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Mt 23:12
In the second half of Psalm 51 it says…
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise”
*Brokenness*
Goes along with humility. When I am actually sensing or feeling brokenness, I feel weak. My pride doesn’t want me to feel weak. But a broken spirit is a good thing, it breaks down the walls so God can work, God can speak to me, God can be evident through me. I know I’m going to be broken continuously while on the Race, but even before then it needs to happen. It brings me to my knees before my Maker and Lord, in humility…brokenness.
Finally, all of you. Have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart and a humble mind.
1 Peter 3:8 ~ I thought of our World Race team when I read this verse.
Have you had a soul care day in the past year…or ever? A personal retreat where it’s silent and just you and God? Try it out. It’s not a useless day.
