So much time has passed since the last blog I wrote that I had forgotten the password to log-in. I can’t help but be a bit curious to find out who will read this.
Chasm between realities: Sitting here across from a glowing pine, I think back to a year ago today. Location: London, England due to airport protests in Bangkok, Thailand. Much has happened since. Today: Indianapolis, Midwest USA. 12 months create a cognitive chasm with the help of a plane and time, and the two realities divurge with more time. The timeless memories make me into a mime with words, the latter’s futility is deafening. Should I come to accept that no one will quite get the full picture what I came to know? The new people became a good pair of well-worn shoes and the old people became new again, and I speculate it may be because something was new in me. Do we start over wearing-in new pairs shoes? And seeing now that transition like this one tries to transition you into another season, place, or another thing all-encomplassing, I don’t want to….season yes, place maybe, but if I assimilate with the transition then a piece dies within and if I don’t, then how without alienating and isolation?
Decision: Or shall I say indecision? Too much can be said about this and so I won’t knowing that it will only morph into complaints. At this point everyone has made some pretty big decisions in their lives; marriage, kids, 401K, IRAs, buying homes, etc. Desires are one thing, but acting on them are another. I desire to go to grad-school for linguistics but I also desire to function out of my missionary heart doing long-term ministry, but either can be a good decision…which is the best? When it’s your life and not another’s, this changes how you might give advice…it’s not so simple when that one decision alters the very course of your life.
Humanity: God is teaching me the toils of man in this world, whether you find it in Vietnam, in Wisconsin or in your own life. Gosh, humanity is messy but lovely. My workplace sees people in bankruptcy, in poverty, in domestic violence shelters, and people who’ve come to expect disappointment from life. But they have some of the most lovely demeanors and whose graciousness puts me to shame. I hope I show them half of the kindness they show me. And that of our mortality…do we really understand the implications of believing that after we die the Lord awaits when we have given our lives over to him on Earth? I tell you what…when you watch your friend’s body whither away from cancer, you think about it more. It becomes very relevant, that is, mortality and eternity. Mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice – great advice.
Heavy blog. Thanks for reading. Thoughtful feedback welcomed.
