The Blogging challenge set before me was a simple concept- but such a difficult reality to write. Write about “the one person you will never forget-the man at the corner store, the woman and her baby begging on the street; the teenager in too-high heels and a short skirt in Thailand. The passenger on the bus to Botswana who shared her life story in beautiful, accented English.”
How am I supposed to choose ONE person, when there are countless people who have impacted me through a single interaction? Add into that my two years as an RA- my staff and my residents, my classmates, my friends and family, people I have met on my previous missions trips… I had no idea who to choose. I knew I needed to post another blog soon, but I kept procrastinating because I didn’t want to make a decision. I think I was also procrastinating because deep down I knew what God was compelling me to write, and that it would be extremely difficult.
Before I get into it, I want to let you know that I am going to do my best to be completely transparent in this post. I am hoping to establish this blog as a place where I can be 100% authentic throughout the next year-and-a-half: as I prepare to leave, and ultimately while I am on my trip. It seems like the best way to form a honest and transparent blog is to institute it from the beginning. No doubt that this will be a long post, but hopefully it will be good. So here we go… who is “The One”?
His name is Aaron Ybarra. I have never even met him in person, but he has radically influenced my life. On June 5th, 2014, he walked onto my university campus with a gun, and shot multiple people, killing one- Paul Lee. There is a lot that I could say about that day. But I don’t want to focus about the trauma or panic. In this space I want to share with you what I learned about God, more specifically Christian community, through this tragic event.
My school, Seattle Pacific University, responded as a community in a way that I am so proud of. When the unthinkable happened, and the Nation’s spotlight was briefly on us, I believe we demonstrated the character of Christ. Rather than responding with malice, cruelty, or Christian clichés to the violence we experienced- compassion, love, grace, and prayer we offered to all parties involved. We acknowledged our anger, but were not consumed by it. We lamented together, assured in the knowledge that it is alright to be deeply saddened. Our flesh was shaken, but our faith was not. Our flesh felt anger, but our faith gave us peace. Our home was compromised, but God’s Kingdom wasn’t and never will be. In the midst of the chaos, and in the following months, I learned some very valuable lessons about what authentic Christian community looks like, even in the midst of tragedy. I would like to share these with you now.
It is ok to Lament– healthy even. It is my opinion that in today’s culture, we often have an unhealthy understanding of what grief and lament actually mean. If something tragic happens, or someone you know passes, you will get maybe a month of bereavement, although two weeks is much more likely. Moreover, everyone around you is saying things along the lines of: “It’s ok.” “Everything happens for a reason.” “God, has a plan.” “He (Paul) is in a better place.” “Be Strong- you’ll be fine.” “The Lord never gives us more than we can handle.”
Let me tell you something… hearing those things sucked. No, it’s not ok- someone from my community is dead. Everything does not happen for a reason- I believe that God can work through all circumstances, but I do not, and cannot, for a second believe that God wanted this tragedy to happen. Yes, Paul is in a better place- but that doesn’t make us miss him less, or make it any easier to be left behind. I am already strong, and yes it will eventually get easier, but my life will never be the same.
Hearing those things was the absolute worst. What was wonderful, though, was not hearing them from people directly within my community or from my family. Although there is a grain of truth within those clichés- we use them too soon. A beloved professor at SPU gave a speech at a service the evening of the shooting, and this was where I learned my first lesson about Christian community. He said, “We live in a world, and the community of faith has always lived in a world where tragedy happens, where evil raises its ugly head, where death tries to be victorious, where chaos attempts to rule. It’s not that these are worse times. The community of faith has always been through this, and when it is at its best, it knows that comfort cannot bypass lament, the cry of the heart. The worst thing we can do is to say, “This was God’s doing. I just don’t know why God did it,” because I believe that today, God also laments. “ Lament is good. Look at Job, or even the Psalmist- a good majority of the content in these books is lamentation. The act of lamentation does not mean lack of faith, but rather it can cultivate the deepest worship.
This leads me to the second lesson I learned about Christian Community. In the days following the shooting, there were worship and prayer events on campus almost daily. Everyone was shell shocked- unified in grief. Yet, it was during these heart wrenches service that I experienced the deepest, most profound worship in my life. It was partly because my heart was raw and exposed, and the spirit was able to move in that space. However, I think there was also an aspect of so many people, on the same page, desperate to encounter God, which impacted my worship. I believe that when a community it truly unified, be it in grief, in joy, in aspirations, or merely united in a desire to praise God, Worship reaches a new level.
I also came to (re)learn that Prayer is powerful- particularly when exercised communally. There isn’t much for me to elaborate on for this one, aside from to say that prayer is a very powerful thing, which is often underestimated. Pray always.
I learned so much about Christian community; it would take several posts to comment on it all. The last thing I will share, at least in this post, is that the test of a community is two-fold. It is not only what immediate reactions to a situation are, but also the tenacity demonstrated and the continual actions taken after the spot-light is no longer shining. The saying goes “what do you do when no one is looking- or when you think no one is looking?” Do you continue to let your character speak for you, or do you regress? The truth of the matter is that we are always under speculation merely because we claim faith. Whether or not you think it, people look at us differently and examine our actions more critically once we identify ourselves as believers.
At this point, you’re probably thinking “this is a World Race blog… what does any of this have to do with missions?” Well, I firmly believe that lessons are transferable. I don’t think we learn a lesson and are meant to compartmentalize it for one specific area in our lives. Although these lessons were learned in response to a tragic event, they can be translated into various contexts.
Eleven months, in eleven of the most ungospeled, unreached countries in the world. It is unlikely that there will not be things to lament- be it something we witness that breaks our heart or something happening at home that we miss. Again, Lamenting is a good practice, especially when done together.
Moreover, There will almost certainly be places and instances where we worship together with a common agenda- to praise the Lord and proclaim his name. This attitude of worship is cultivated when a community comes, humble before the Lord, and abandons self for God. As I have begun to know my teammates, I am convinced that this is what we all want.
It also seems likely that we will experience the power of prayer. I know that those who remain behind will be faithful to pray for us as we go. I also know that my teammates will be praying for one another, and for our ministry. I don’t know what we will encounter while we are serving, but I am confident that every step we take will be fortified in prayer.
But more than anything, Christian community is represented in the longevity, and tenacity of Christ-like character. Spiritual authority drives it, and it is fueled by the depth of Character, Spirit empowered gifts for ministry, and dependence on the Holy Spirit to direct and motivate. It is meeting people exactly where they are, and not demanding more from them than they can offer. Christian community is being humble, and empowering people around you. During his life on earth, Christ lived boldly, spoke truth, acted justly, and extended compassion. He noticed and met the needs of the people around him. Christian community strives to do the same. Moreover, It is a body of people who testify on God’s behalf through bearing the marks of life changed/transformed by faith: mutual love, hospitality towards strangers, remembering those in prison and those who are tortured, honoring commitments to one another, being content with what one has, and seeking/ advocating for justice.
It is my hope and prayer (and please make it yours too) that my team can transcend pseudo community, and reach a level of community where no matter what we face, the strength of our character, the way we love, and the way we respond to difficult circumstances is our testimony.
The City of Seattle was surprised by the way SPU reacted after the shooting- impressed by the character and love we demonstrated. This can solely be attributed to the fact that we were guided by faith and grounded in community. People noticed that we were different, based on how we treated each other- but more so based on how we treated Aaron Ybarra. How we treat the “enemy” (however you choose to define that word) says infinitely more than how you treat a friend.
As we travel into these countries, where there will be cultural, language, and religious barriers- it is my hope that the strength of our Christ-centered community will speak volumes above our voices in a way that is kingdom changing. Additionally, it is my prayer that we will be guided by faith, grounded in community, and dependent on prayer.
In the end, it comes down to this: people notice the character of a Christian Community, and how we represent ourselves is not only only a testament to ourselves, but a witness to the God we claim. This was true for my school a little over a year ago, and it will be true for my team overseas. I can only pray that we do not fail.
I know that this was a long post, and may be a bit scatter brained in parts, but thank you for muddling through it with me.
Shalom.
