…I’ve got answers!!
So, something you hear a lot when coming to the end of the “Race” is the need to “process” things and “process” your year. I totally agree! How do you begin to explain an entire year of your life (at any point, really – on the missions field or off) to people who have only had snapshots of it here and there? How are my friends going to tell me about their year when I’ve only had snapshots of it here and there? It’s a lot to summarize and a lot to take in all at once. SO…hence this blog!
I want to thank everyone who asked me questions, and a HUGE thank you to the types of questions you all asked. Most were serious, and I am so appreciative of that because it allowed me to sit down and think of a summarized answer within my heart. So….I give you: your questions and my answers!!
What is the greatest challenge you’ve faced? What is the greatest lesson you’ve learned?
So amazing the sacrifices you’ve made to do this.
A: thank you for that! It has been quite the sacrifice, but I have enjoyed (most of) every minute of it!
A challenge that I have faced, personally, is the will to keep going. There are moments where I honestly don’t feel like going to ministry, or I don’t feel like being with my teammates. Thinking of Jesus’ human side though, it really shifts my perspective. I’m sure he didn’t feel like going to the cross, but he did. I’m also reminded that he took breaks from his disciples and would spend time alone with his Father. That has been really hard for me, too. I began this journey a HUGE extrovert to the point that I honestly hated being alone (I still kind of do) but I have really come to see and experience the importance of alone time, especially alone time with Jesus.
The greatest lesson – great question! One of the biggest lessons, I’m not quite sure yet if it’s the greatest, that I’ve learned is the need for intentional community. A need not to just have friends, but for friends to call righteousness out in you, to call stuff out that doesn’t match with the Gospel, to help you look more like Jesus. Looking like Jesus – that’s our ultimate identifying goal as Christians, so we need to be praying intentionally over each other, asking Him what He wants to reveal in our lives, so that we can truly live counter-cultural lives that echo Jesus’.
What is an american food you miss most?
a, I love this question. We talk more about food on the Race than anything else (except maybe our pooping habits…gross, but true)! Surprisingly, we’ve been able to find some great international versions of “American” dishes such as: pizza and burgers. What I have missed periodically is definitely some good ol’ Tex-Mex…but strictly “American” food, I would definitely say I miss some good barbecue. All we get overseas is chicken and pork…so…a nice steak or brisket, mmmm.
I know you loved the children…what other aspect of the race did you enjoy the most?
That is a loaded question! I have truly enjoyed how warm other cultures are. I have been welcomed into many strangers’ home just to have coffee, eat some peanuts or fruit, and awkwardly stare at each other due to our language differences. I have really enjoyed the opportunity to encourage leaders, either verbally or just by my actions, in the church to not only grow in numbers of attendance, but to grow by discipling. Multiplication of the Gospel and raising up true disciples is of significantly greater importance than the number of bodies warming a church.
Two things though, that stand out above others, is the elderly in each culture and also the blindness to the gospel in each culture. I have enjoyed receiving the toothless ear-to-ear smiles of the elderly people in the villages, knowing that those smiles were a way of welcoming and a way of pouring out love. Those smiles were also invitations to come and share Jesus with hungry people that are seeking for purpose in this existence that they have. I have truly enjoyed seeing how uniquely blind each culture is to the gospel because a: it has totally broken my heart and I feel like the Lord has blessed me with an opportunity to take on a mere fraction of His heart for His children; and b: I have a deeper understanding of how to pray for those serving overseas – the challenges they face, the opposition they face, the other idols and gods they face, I get to have a deeper view in how to cover those areas in prayer, and shed light to those areas in my community back home.
What’s been the most difficult thing about leaving the countries after a month?
The hardest thing has been “the leaving” part. I hate “goodbyes,” and “see you laters” are promises made that I can’t fulfill, and that I truthfully won’t fulfill. When you choose to give it your all each month and really dive in deep, quick, into friendships – you leave a little piece of your heart behind each time, knowing that in the future, the interaction between you will be limited to a mere screen. So, when you form a quick, but deep, relationship…leaving that behind has been really hard. To gain a deeper insight, check out this blog I wrote on this very question!
Is there any advice you would give to someone considering a trip like this?
Absolutely. GO. Just go. There will be one million and one reasons why you shouldn’t go: too much money, loosing a year of your “normal life,” leaving friends and family, research claims of it being an overly charismatic organization, negative opinions from others, overly positive opinions from others, lack of biblical principles, etc…the list could go on. Those were all my reasons that I sorted through and came to this conclusion: Jesus is so much bigger than all of those reasons. You think He won’t show up by providing the funds for you to go? think again. You think He doesn’t know what others are saying about this organization? think again. You think He doesn’t know the sacrifice you’ll be making by leaving your loved ones behind? think again. HE is SO good. and SO worth it. Go spend a year with Jesus – learning more about your relationship with Him, with His children around the world and within your community, how He is completely for us and for bettering our lives for His Kingdom and His purpose.
What has been the hardest thing about living in community?
“Community,” in itself, is a word that I used to love, and one that will take time to rebuild a good rapport with. Totally kidding. Kind of. I think the hardest thing for me personally, is the balance of alone time that I need. I’m quite the extreme extrovert – the kind that likes just being in the same room as people, even if we aren’t communicating – so I knew the Race would be a place that I would flourish. Then month 10 rolled around and I found myself getting SO frustrated when in close proximity with other teammates, and that’s when I had to surrender to the idea that time spent completely alone is perhaps good for me and healthy for my relationship with Jesus. I had to rely solely on Jesus for patience with people, and for grace with people. I had to rely on Jesus when those around me see me in my ugliest forms and have the given platform to call me out in those things that don’t measure up with the characteristics of Jesus, which is quite hard but also quite humbling.
How has Jesus changed you as a result of the trip?
wow. That could be a page long in itself (don’t worry – it won’t be!). I think the short answer is that He’s changed me to be a better example and carrier of His name and His gospel. Those that know me at home often speak highly of me and how reflective I am of Jesus’ character and while that is completely humbling and inspiring – that’s not always the case in my heart. I know how to dress up and act like Jesus very well, but to actually choose to be Him is a difficult task because it means laying down everything within me: desires, frustrations, happiness, anger, dreams, my future… He’s changed my heart to desire to do that and to desire to hear the hard things that, if taken seriously, will change me to be a better representative of His Kingdom and of His grace. He’s so trusting to allow me to carry His name knowing that I will royally screw up, but that in my screw-ups, His grace shines the brightest.
I hope and pray that you have gained a little insight into what my heart went through this past year by reading this blog – I know I’ve gained even more insight into myself just by writing it! Thank you to everyone who supported me: financially, prayerfully, etc. I have loved this time out on the field and it truly has widened my worldview, shaped my perspective, and broadened how I see Jesus.
love you all – see you so very soon! For your viewing pleasure, here are 11 different photos to very poorly “sum up” some of my year! 1 from each month 🙂 (plus 1 because it was my birthday, and I want to include that!)
Month 1: Honduras.
Meet: Christopher, AKA “Honduran Denzel”
Month 2: Guatemala.
I was with these students for one class, helping out a great friend, Karen and being with them sparked a love for teaching English overseas that I had forgotten I had.
Month 3: El Salvador.
Meet: Don Carlos. He was faithful to come and play dominoes every. day. He deemed me the “Queen of Cat Eyes,” kissed my hand every day and nudged his way deep into the hearts of team “Cor Adamontis.”
Month 4: USA.
Meet (for the first time): Olivia Maly Crichton. This month was a surprise but totally needed. Home provided me with rest, time with friends, time with family, and time with Jesus to sit down and process some pretty serious things. I NEVER expected to go home, but He knew I would, and it was perfect.
Month 5: Bulgaria.
The streets of Bulgaria have been among my favorite places from the Race. I mean, seriously: check out that view! (and no, Cody…not you…)
Month 6: Zambia.
This spot was my absolute favorite spot to spend by myself (crazy – by myself!) (and well…sometimes others joined!) This month, my friend Caitlin challenged me to play my guitar without being glued to chord sheets and it made me rely on the Lord in a totally different way than I’ve ever experienced.
Month 7: Malawi.
Meet: Isnett and her homegirls. Her gapped-tooth smile is honestly all you even need to see to know how sweet and loving this girl is.
Month 8: Malawi 2.0.
This picture beautifully captures what this month was: an unexpected, incredible close-knit community that welcomed us with open arms and open hearts when some of us could not get in to Mozambique. I also received the chance to train church leaders in Discipleship, using the model that my home church uses, and those in attendance just recently re-taught others within the church!!
Month 9: Thailand.
This picture holds one of my fondest memories. One of the teenagers that we taught is seen here, holding a crossbow, fishing. Following this were videos of the crossbow on the ground, the teenager in the water and instead of shooting the fish – punching them. so awesome.
OH. and the time my mom sneakily planned a wonderfully relaxing day for me and my team, Fishers of Men, including 2-hour Thai messages. mmmm.
Month 10: Cambodia.
Meet: David. He became my little brother within, I don’t know, maybe…2 hours of me being there? He’s absolutely wonderful and so smart and so hungry to learn. I know he’s going to carry Jesus’ name with strength and courage.
Month 11: Malaysia.
Not much to say since we’ve only been here for little over a week, except the fact that it looks like we live on a movie set. It’s SO beautiful here.
The END!
