Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the fairest of them all???
This may be a catchy rhyme from a known children’s story, however this question carries so much weight in our modern society.
What is beauty? Is it what size jean you can squeeze into? Is it how many people you have “chasing” after you? Or how many people tell you that you look attractive on your latest Facebook picture? Is it how hot you significant other is? Or how perfect you can present yourself to the world?
I would say no to all! In my opinion, this is a superficial beauty that the world has made seem desirable. It is this superficial beauty that society has perpetuated causing people to think this is what they should be chasing after. The 21st century American dream may look differently than 60 years ago but it is still striving for the same aspects of success; that you are what you have and how good you look. This mindset is a poison to experiencing true love, looking at yourself with loving eyes, and being able to find joy in your own life because we are constantly searching for the “better thing”. We are continuously looking around at what others have that we forget to look forward with gratitude at the amazing future God has planned for us.
Before the race I fell victim to this American-beautification-maximizer mentality that is like an uncontrollable wildfire especially among youth and young people in the States. I hated how I looked because I didn’t look like the girls on TV or in the magazines. I constantly compared myself to every one, whether in real life or the highly photo shopped versions. I was looking around at everyone else’s “success” and critiquing my own possessions against theirs’. I disliked myself so much that I regularly fished for affirmation and attention from whomever was available about my beauty and worth. I would build up my self-image based on their opinions. This need reached a point that I lacked any self-esteem and was merely surviving off the compliments of others.
This state of being is what the “American dream” feeds off of. That I NEED the newest X, Y, or Z. That I NEED to lose 10 pounds if I want to find Mr. Right. That I NEED perfect, pore-less skin, with huge doe eyes, and Victoria Secret hair 24/7. That by obtaining these accomplishments I will become happy, that I will experience love, and then I will finally feel complete. But with every thing we purchase and every goal we reach the emptiness remains.
The last few months I was struggling to go deeper with God. I thought it was because I wasn’t doing enough (oh, you sneaky spirit of religion!). As I was talking to a teammate about this issue at the beginning of the month she asked a hard question. “Andrea, do you think you deserve love?”….. Well of course I do!… Right?… I still had it in my mind that I had to earn love. That I had to be this “perfect Christian” to receive the fullness of God’s love and His promises. This is so, SO wrong!
We talked some more and she asked yet another tough question, “Andrea, do you love yourself fully?” What?? Of course not, who loves themselves fully?… This was also harmful thinking. I was looking at myself in comparison to what the world says I should be, and not how God sees me (which is beautiful, pure, and totally awesome!). We had now found the potential block; I wasn’t loving myself fully, so I was not receiving God’s love fully, which was blocking my relationship with Him. Welp… How do you fix something like loving yourself? Very simply; more of You and less of me.
I physically set down the mirror, and mentally set down the worldview I held of myself. And instead I picked up spending time with the Lord, asking Him to show me how He sees me, and to give me His eyes to see others. In short, a month without a mirror. Slowly He sucked the poison out of my viewpoint, and poured in His love for me. He showed me that the things that make me “different” are actually the unique, beautiful traits that He loves about me. He showed me what true beauty is: a loving, compassionate heart, a joyful spirit, a laughing smile, kind, gentle eyes, and a free soul. These qualities are rarely categorized as beauty by the world’s standards. But they are what I desire to have. These are the qualities I want to be known for, not for my lovely hair or slender frame. I don’t want the world’s opinion any more.
This month I have come to understand that the only opinion I truly care about is the Lord’s. And that by becoming closer to Him, I will become more like Him. I will be filled with love, joy, and peace. That these qualities will pour out of me, and these are the qualities of beauty that I care about having. He is the lover of my soul. He knows every thing I have ever done, and still loves me.
“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in Him.) 1 John 4:16
