When Brittany first told me she had cancer, her biggest fear was losing her hair. Honestly, I get it. Society tells us beauty is having pretty hair, flawless skin, and a certain figure. As a Christian, you are told that isn’t true. You are beautiful because God says you are beautiful. Because he created you, and you are made in his image. It’s one thing to agree with that statement or see others as beautiful based on that, but it’s totally different to actually believe that for yourself and live that way.
I’ve been praying for God to not only heal Brittany of cancer, but also that chemo would not make her sick and that she would not lose her hair. A week ago I was running and praying for Brittany. I asked the Lord to please let Brittany keep her hair. I told him if she didn’t, I would shave mine. I felt in my spirit the Lord say: Why are you waiting to see if I answer your prayer the way you want? Why don’t you go before her.
I wish I could say immediately I was like “Yeah!” But the truth is I was scared. And I cried. All the “what ifs” came to mind. What if God does answer my prayer and Brit doesn’t lose her hair? What if I look like an alien? What if Brittany thinks it’s weird that I did that? What about the awkward stages of it growing back? And of course the enemy comes into mind: If you shave your head, you are definitely securing the fact that you will be single for a while, maybe even forever.
As always, God sent me the word that I needed. I listened to a sermon entitled: Playing it safe on the Red Rocks podcast. “A step of faith is anything we feel God is calling us to do that is met with a little discomfort, a little unknown, and a little fear or insecurity. It’s outside of your control. What’s going to happen if you step out? There are no guarantees of how it will look. What is guaranteed is God loves you. He is good. His mercies are new every morning. His grace covers you. He’s always with you. He works for the good of those who love him. What do you choose: control, safety, and comfort? Or faith?”
I chose faith. As soon as I made the decision in my heart, peace began to flood it. Fear left as I kept my eyes on Jesus and followed what he put in my heart to do.
I have never been without hair. I was born with a head full of hair. The shortest I have ever cut my hair was shoulder length. Yesterday, I shaved my head.
First and foremost, I want to walk in obedience to God. Also, I want one of my best friends to know she is not alone. I am still praying and asking God that she doesn’t lose her hair. But if she does, she doesn’t have to be afraid. I went before her, and she’s not alone.
Lastly, I want to make a statement about beauty. The world’s standard of beauty isn’t true. When I looked in the mirror for the first time to see my shaved head, I saw me. And I saw myself as beautiful. Not because of pretty hair, flawless skin, youthful look, or a slim body type. You can have all of those things and still not think or see yourself as beautiful.
I don’t just want to tell you that you are beautiful. I want to show you.
I am beautiful because God says I am. Because he created me in his image. Because of the person he is making me to be- daily becoming more like him. So it doesn’t matter if I look different from the world’s standard. I am beautiful.
And so are you. Do you believe it? Do you see it?
Ask God what he thinks of you.
Others may disagree and tell you aren’t beautiful. Or you aren’t this or that. I love what Steven Furtick says when asked how he feels about criticism, “Any external criticism I have received has only ever damaged me to the level that my internal insecurities enabled it.” In other words, if you think and see yourself as beautiful, who care what others think or say. (:
Also, is there something God is calling you to do? Will you choose comfort, safety, and control? Or faith?
