Yesterday was just like any other day.
I spent it avoiding important things.
You see…
I avoided it because every time I looked at that list I've made to complete before I launch,
I still felt like I was forgetting something… something big.. something really, really important.
So, I reached out to my squad mates and asked if they would send me some of their lists so I can compile mine with theirs together and figure it out.
I got a very thorough list from a type A squad mate and realized I did majority of it already.
especially the big important things.
I was frustrated… because the feeling I had was unshakeable. I couldn't help but feel like I was still physically unprepared.
but you see,
I got all the funds I need to leave.
I opened my new bank account.
I got majority of my equipment.
my lovely parents have been taking care of all the insurance stuff.
All my loans.
My car is in good hands.
I'm pretty confident about being fully funded by months 6.
There isn't anything I need to worry about…
I'm set to GO
I got the opportunity to zoom my sweet, awesome, loving, squad mate Kim yesterday because she offered to help me compile a list of things to do before we launch.
After a good beginning sesh of playing catching up, we got to the point of the call. I began going down my squadmates list telling Kim that i've done majority of it.
She then said "maybe the enemy is interceding in this to make you feel this way."
she was absolutely right.
She then spoke truth over me and my preparation and I immediately came to a revelation (PRAISE HIM)…
As the days pass and the time crunch to leave for the race begins, it's easy to get lost in the physical preparation of things. Who wants to be in southeast asia to find their bank account in the states has been closed? It's important to be on top of things. Making sure bills will be taken care of, Having the best quality equipment that hopefully will last the whole year.
but have we forgotten the reason why we're going?
I did.
I still do.
I felt a void, i felt unprepared physically because the enemy wants me to believe that it's worldly and materialistic. And it's easy to allow ourselves to get so caught up in them. To get caught up in the goodbyes, the things, the people.
but the Lord, in His sometimes faint voice in the back ground, is saying what about me?
My not so physical preparation turned into a spiritual preparation.
I forgot about God. I forget about Him.
I forgot the importance of being alone with Him and hearing Him tell me He's proud of me.
I forget how refreshing it is to hear the voice of the creator amidst the worlds noise.
I purposely tried to forget about Him though…
Yesterday I finally confessed my problem with God.
I'm afraid He's going to just correct me, tell me what I'm doing is wrong, condemn me, fix me.
But that isn't my God…
My God is compassionate, loving, caring, kind, fair, just…
He just wants to love on me…
So, racer, future racer, not yet racer, or none of the above,
If this is you, and you're in a crazy chaotic place with funds, preparation, or just in general,
and you feel like you're forgetting something big but you can't quite put your finger on it…
maybe you are, and maybe its Him.
He just wants to love on you… will you let Him?
