Lately, I've been in a rough place and I quite frankly don't want to blog about anything that's going on, because, well, I'm still trying to figure it out for myself.
This blog is a repost from a racer whom is on the field right now, U-squad Stephanie Cashin. These words are the cry of my heart, they are the words that I haven't been able to get out for myself.
Please, take time to read it, and understand where I am. As much as I might want to deny it, I need your constant encouragement daily. 2 months and 2 days until I leave, friends, and I'm so close to walking away- that isn't what I want, I've come so far.
Walk with me in this journey and season. Sometimes, I may even need you to grab my hand and pull me. It's draining and scary…
But gosh, the Lord has so much in store for me this next year, remind me of that. But also, let me be in the moment, I'm so easily overwhelmed with all of this preparation.With love,
Andie
Dear racer families, friends, and supporters:
Whether we admit it or not… we are scared.
The deadlines have been met, the gear has been purchased, the race is imminent. And we couldn’t feel more alone or unsure in our minds about what we know in our hearts to be His calling for this season. We can be moved to tears at any moment, by the simplest things, or by nothing at all.
Some days we just want to walk away… launch for the race without goodbyes because it seems like that would hurt less than the countdown and looming farewells. A clean break.
Without seeming ungrateful (because we are! we are so very grateful it hurts…) occasionally there are no words to how we are feeling. And sometimes, we’re not feeling very Christ-like, gracious, or even like a world racer at all. It is somewhat tiring trying to put on the perfect smiling face all the time. This journey is nowhere near perfect. Not everything about traveling around the world with a backpack and a team of 8 is glorious.
Everyday leading up to launch brings something new and tons of different emotions along with it.
In the meantime however, I’ve compiled a list (surprise!) of possible triggers. You may be housing a future racer and looking for ways to stop the tears, or motivators to get them off the couch watching re-runs of Friends episodes and chick flicks (just me? oh okay then…) I hope this gives some insight.
•••
{do's and don'ts for dealing with a future racer}
1.Please don’t ask what our plans are for after the race.
If we knew where we were called to serve in full time ministry, then we probably wouldn’t be going on the race. We would be so confirmed in our life’s calling and God’s will for our life that we would be serving in that area now. The race is just as much a personal journey and time of discipleship as it is a literal journey across the globe. We will return with changed hearts in so many ways, with confirmed or redirected dreams… even we don’t know what God’s going to teach us over the next eleven months. Asking what we’re going to do after the race, before it’s even started, is pressure we don’t know how to handle.
2.Don’t steal our stuff …yet.
The loophole to this is if a future racer offers, without precursor, an article of clothing, home good, or other coveted item. If a future racer offers you something and there is even a possibility that you’ll want it.. take it. If you hesitate it could be donated or sold in a garage sale faster than you can say, “World Race Fundraising”.
The minute I’m on a plane to Africa, those cute sandals are yours… until launch, I will wear them at least once a day to remind myself that I am, in fact, capable of walking in something other than Chacos and minimalist running shoes. Please don’t rush us out the door by writing our “Race Will” just yet.
3.There’s no need to pretend like life won’t go on.
We don’t expect you to not give birth, go to college, or age while we’re away… we want to celebrate with you as much as possible while we’re here! And we’ll want to celebrate again when we come home! Please let us. There’s no need to use hushed tones or leave the room while planning your wedding.
We want to include you in our race, we promise to blog and share photos when possible… do the same! Email and share your triumphs and your struggles while we’re out in the field… we will celebrate and mourn for you in internet cafés all over the world.
4.Distractions are welcome.
Don’t allow us too much time in our own heads thinking about the next eleven months…
The next year will be heavy in the best possibly way; but, coffee dates, nail appointments, trail runs, and other mindless activities with loved ones are priceless at this point. Remind us to not take ourselves too seriously… our kind have a tendency to do that. We’re not hippies yet, we promise to shower and wash our hair in exchange for sleepovers and words of affirmation.
5.Invite us to Church, Small Group, or a Bible Study.
You may think that we’ve been chosen to go on the World Race because we are biblically and spiritually mature beyond our years. You would be wrong, we are a beautifully broken group of people. In the months leading up to the race, we are in transition… as the race approaches it’s easy to get busy with the doing and preparing rather than the sitting and being. We still need to be filled daily and in the Word. It’s a relationship people… we are as desperately dependent on Christ here in the States as we will be in each country to come. Don’t let us coast.
6.Don’t let us forget why we chose the race.
Some days squad-mates, travel plans, and the long needles they use for vaccines make us think, “it’s not worth it.” Those aren’t the reasons we chose the race and those aren’t the reasons we were called. But at times, the pros and cons list of this adventure is weighted heavily by emotion, and emotions are forever changing. We need you there when we shamefully say, “I don’t think I want to do this today…” Because we do. We really really do. You’re our support, our tangible comfort and the voice of reason praying for our courage. Remind us daily of the cross and our calling to take the gospel into the nations.
7.Say something…. Say anything.
No one knows your racer better than you, so this must be approached on a racer by racer basis. We’re hurting and struggling in ways that we don’t even understand. We find ourselves crying over peanut butter and power converters. Sometimes our tears aren’t even a bad thing, our faces just need to leak a little. We will ask for space…please don’t abandon us. Even if we can’t put words to our needs, we need our home teams. A simple, “I have no idea what you’re going through…but I’m praying” is day changing.
Please give us grace.
I would like to remind you all that I launch on January 9th, 2014. In order to launch, I must have raised $7,500 dollars by December 15th, otherwise I will be unable to depart with my squad and team. As of today, I have 5,250 dollars.
Would you please consider making a faithful, monthly donation of $50, and/or consider a one-time donation to my race. Join me as my support team. This is our journey, Church Family.
