I’m Going To Use The Word “Healing” A Lot
This morning I finally listened to Pastor Joe’s* sermon from Father’s Day, back on June 16. I don’t know why it has taken me so long to get to this point, or why it was today that I listened to it. But he was talking about children as arrows, and loosing them at the right target, and about how “God as Father” might be a scary or frightening concept for those who grew up without fathers or with abusive dads or whatever. If you read my blog from last September (WRR Episode 1), I wrote about how the World Race was really bringing up some of the daddy issues I’ve been facing for the last twenty-some-odd years. I talked about some of the open wounds that still remained, and some that had closed but left scars that ached randomly and in the most inopportune times. Really inconvenient, they were.
But as I listened to the message the Lord laid out for Pastor Joe, for the first time in my life, I felt peace. I didn’t feel slighted or hurt or scared or misunderstood. I didn’t feel angry about my childhood or sad about my present or worried about my future. I felt– I feel– peace about all of it. I was not aware that this was something God was working slowly and surely on, and I was overwhelmed with my response to PJoe’s words this morning. I can say with confidence and joy that the Lord my God– my loving Father– has brought me to a new and complete place of healing. No more will I identify myself as a girl with daddy issues, lingering or not. No more will I need prayer for healing for all those holes in my heart. It's such a strange and light feeling to have this thing, this burden I've struggled with for so long, be gone. It's literally and tangibly as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can take my first steps in healing, and begin to pray for others. I can walk with joy and hope and potential. I can laugh at the days to come! This is the second time in my life I am fully aware of the depth and healing the Lord has brought to me, and as He is guiding my embarkation into a brand new season of life (stay tuned for more information on this awesome and exciting development), I know this is just one of the many, many things we will be dancing through together.
*Pastor Joe is the Senior Pastor of my church at home, Vineyard Community Church Richmond, and is basically like a surrogate father to all, but especially me. Hearing his sermons is like a taste of home, not just because it’s church, but because the sound of his voice is like the sound of home and family and cold Saturday mornings spent cooking and baking and knitting with his wife and a handful of college students.
PJoe, doin' his thang, in case you needed to know what he looks like
love is the aroma of home
