As you might have noticed, I have not been blogging a great deal over the last several weeks. Or really at all. I'm finding that as Launch draws nearer I am struggling. I'm struggling between being fully present and engaged in my conversations and relationships here at home, and preparing emotionally to leave. It's an incredibly difficult line to balance on.
When I first came back home from training camp, all my thoughts, movements, and actions were forward-facing- all were intentionally focused on preparing to leave. As I got further away from camp, and every day life became more important, my friends and my family became the focus.
Now I'm finding that as I seek to spend more time with my loved ones, I'm spending less and less time tying up loose ends, completing various tasks, or even spending time preparing to leave everyone and everything behind. As our launch date approaches, I'm feeling more and more weighed down, more and more overwhelmed, and more and more stressed out. I know that there is a long list of things left to do, but I can't bear to spend time away from family or friends to do it.
I wonder if this is a normal reaction to the task I'm facing? If others struggle with this tightrope, too? I wonder if this is a normal reaction, or if I am not keeping my eyes on the prize or, as Hebrews calls it, the race to which I've been called. I wonder…
