Through all the exercises, all the stretching, all the challenges…with no sleep or showers or nutrition… with all the ridiculously enormous bugs that live in the place we were (and it WAS an infestation), I found my peace, my rest, my comfort, my JOY from the Lord Himself.
The whole camp would come together at the end of a long, long day to worship our Father. And we would worship for HOURS. Because our pain was going to praise Him. Our limits were going to break before Him. If even the demons tremble at His Name, our suffering was certainly going to do no less than bow down in worship. And the Spirit of the Lord descended in a way that I have never, ever experienced. I know now that I can do anything. Live without any material possessions, live on less than a serving of food (even if it's not what my body or tastes are used to), live in the unknown and uncertain. And being a P.L.A.N.N.E.R. this was a difficult task to master. And I haven't yet. But our God is a sustainer and a provider and a joy-giver. I can fall asleep and find deep rest wherever and whenever. I can wake up at the drop of a hat to keep going. I, in my introvertism with my desperate need for quiet alone time, can handle being in community 24 hours a day.
I CAN keep going, wherever the Lord calls me, whatever He calls me to do. Do I love these things? Do I enjoy being clean and comfortable and dry? Do I like having 19 restaurants within 10 minutes of my house, and the opportunity to brush my teeth at any moment, and a huge room all to myself whenever I want or need it? Of course.But I've been called to a higher and humbler way of living. I had the choice to accept or refuse. And in surrendering my life to ministry, I have agreed to and willingly surrendered any and all rights I might think I have: rights to food and warmth and comfort and possessions, rights to privacy and alone time, rights to what happens to my money or my things or even my desires… rights to decide what I do and where I go. And I am content in being sent wherever, whenever, to do whatever. How do I know? Because I'm not going alone. I'm not doing it alone. My Papa goes with and before me, and I can do anything as long as I'm holding His hand.
