I have been having the craziest dreams recently. I always dream and I usually remember them pretty vividly, but it’s been a little more random and hard to place recently. I even had eye surgery a few weeks back and everytime I fell asleep after taking pain meds a cat would die in my dream somehow (luckily I hate cats, so this was laughable). But anyways, a few nights ago I had a dream about a specific bag of pistachios. I love them, so it wasn’t weird that they were in my dream, but it’s literally all I could remember from my dream, which definitely was weird.
Fast forward a few days, I was on a plane ride home from a trip with a friend. I was tired, my ears hurt for some weird reason and I was more than ready to be home. I even asked my friend to sit in the middle seat so I wouldn’t even have the option of talking to a stranger – seemed too exhausting. The lady we were sitting next to was so kind and inviting, she was catching us up on recent events and making small talk. I kept my contributions to a minimum. But I noticed her face, she was about 50, I’d say and you could tell by the lines in her face that she had a story.
About an hour into the trip, she pulled out a little clear bag of pistachios. The same bag I remembered from my dream. With the same tan background of the tray table pulled down, from that rare time I only remembered just a detail of a dream.
I so wish I was writing a blog of celebration, of how I chose listening to The Lords voice and prompting over sleep and myself. But, instead I wrestled in my head while trying to sleep for the next three hours. I can usually sleep effortlessly anywhere, especially that exhausted. Instead, I tried every position and never got real sleep.
Towards the end of the flight we talked a little. She was divorced and remarried, she had dogs and cats. She was in Montana for a month helping her daughter and son in law. As we bonded over me showing her pictures of my dog, I was able to share that I needed a place for him to go for a year while I did this thing called The World Race (any takers?!). I learned and was able to share basics but knew I had missed out on an opportunity that The Lord put in front of me because of selfishness.
My heart is sad for the conversation I missed with her. I’m disappointed in myself and am praying that The Lord will bring someone in to her life to have the conversation that I chose apathy and laziness over.
For this to not count as a total loss I am thankful that The Lord allowed me to realize what I missed. I will commit to praying for her and I will pray that The Lord will keep this feeling in my head and heart, so that throughout the next year and throughout my life that I will always choose love, people and sacrifice over myself. I’m so thankful for the Lords grace, as always. and am so glad that he’s bigger than my mistakes.
and I’ll definitely make sure to let you know if the dead cats end up playing a role in any ministry opportunity or if I really just hate them that much!
