It’s been 4 weeks since this journey officially began, and I can’t even begin to tell you how completely the Lord has changed my heart and my life since then.
I have sat at this computer countless times, racking my brain for the right words to explain how excruciating it was to say, “Yes,” to God when that meant saying, “No,” to my fast-approaching marriage to my best friend of 8 years.
As I announce the news of my acceptance onto the World Race squad there is one question that inevitably follows: “What about Cody?” For a long time the answer was, “Well, I’m not exactly sure. We definitely can’t get married in June if I’m leaving the country in July!” –I felt comfortable with that answer. I felt comfortable knowing that there was a chance (and I thought it to be a strong one) that I would come home from the race and he would be waiting for me at the airport, with my wedding binder in hand and a smile on his face. Then, after crossing “be a missionary” off of my spiritual Bucket List so-to-speak, I could return to my American Dream wedding, family, career, and life.
But there’s a problem with that scenario: God didn’t ask me to pursue the American Dream. And, if I’m honest, I would admit he didn’t ask me to pursue a marriage at all! Jesus asked me to pursue HIMSELF. Carelessly, recklessly, faithfully, and above all else. What my fiance and I realized after investing so many years into each other was that in our small efforts to please God through our marriage we had unintentionally replaced Him in each other’s hearts.
So, we quit. We had to.
And as soon as we did we were overwhelmed with peace. But as much joy and peace as the Lord gave me, our adversary piled on just as much guilt, shame, envy, and sadness to distract and, hopefully, defeat me. These past 4 weeks have been excruciating.
But–God is so, so good. He reminds me:
“In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood… For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore, lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be HEALED. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.”
(Hebrews 12:4, 11-14)
God has made it unmistakably clear that He has more for me, and it’s only been affirmed by the blatant opposition of the devil who “prowls around…looking for someone to devour,” (1 Peter 5:8).
To “be a missionary” is so much more than I understood when I first became a disciple of Jesus, and in my life it is definitely more than a dream on a list. It is life as an ambassador of our Lord Jesus Christ and it is the calling of EVERY Christian no matter who, what, or where you are.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us…[We are] always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies… We also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence.”
(2 Corinthians 4:7, 10, 13b.-14)
My prayer for you is that, since you also believe, you would also SPEAK, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with you into his presence. Don’t be afraid to live extraordinarily for the sake of our Lord and his Gospel.
