Today is our last day in Zomba. Ministry is over and now we are just packing and enjoying the last few moments we will spend with Pastor and his wife Rose. This has been a great month of ministry. We were able to share the gospel and preach every day. It was great because my team members and I were able to press into our gifts and have God use us in those areas.
Natalie was our prayer warrior this month. She brought the fire of God through her prayers and gift of prophecy. My three other teammates were used through the gift of teaching and preaching. I saw Ali, Sara, and Melanie come alive when they taught on God’s love. I was not sure where I was being called this month when it came to ministry. I am just glad it wasn’t preaching 😉 I still have a hard time getting up and speaking sometimes. But I now know that God does call me to that area sometimes and when He does, I will be obedient. I trust that even when I think I can’t, well I can’t. I can only speak in front of others when it is truly God speaking through me. So that is what I did this month, God spoke through me. He asked me to tell my testimony. He asked that I share my pain and hardships to encourage others who are caught in the lie that their sin controls them. I loved sharing the story of my past in order to set people free for tomorrow.
I have not talked about my past as much as I have this month in a long time. It got me thinking about the past a lot and recognizing truly how God has redeemed me. How my testimony is a story of redemption. God rescued me from living for myself. I grew up making the right choices and not getting in trouble. But I did not even make those decisions with a pure heart. I only did that in order to look better than others; that while others rebelled I wanted to be seen as perfect, which obviously never was the case. I thought that because of all my good decisions in life that God would bless me because of that. That He would provide me with a husband at the Christian University I attended. Well, because that’s what happens when you go to a Christian University, you get married. Obviously, since I am still single today that never happened.
I decided to rebel against God. To make myself happy and forget about if that means hurting others and ultimately myself. I thought I had the lifestyle down perfectly. I could put on my Christian mask and go to church and play the good girl role and then as soon as the weekend would roll around I would rip that sucker off as quick as I could. I got very good at living two very different lifestyles. As soon as I graduated though, I didn’t have to hide anymore. I still kept up appearances and attended church occasionally, but basically because I thought I could have the best of both worlds. That by going to church that would be enough to keep me out of the fiery pits one day. Only, it was not. God constantly tried to pursue me this stage in my life but I would block it out whenever I felt any conviction. Slowly I started to do things I always said I would never do in my life. The list of “I will never do…” is pretty much non-existent today, because I did it all mostly. It started to scare me because I no longer recognized myself. Who had I become? Where was the Amy I used to know? I lost her. Thankfully God didn’t, He knew who I was and He wanted me to come home to Him. So I did.
Through a series of God planned events, He brought true conviction to my heart. For the first time in my life I had a true Holy Spirit moment. I recognized that it was the Spirit that entered into me and was calling me out of my life of sin. It was simple, come home to me Amy. And so I did. I abandoned the entire life I was living and started over with God in control. I no longer fought it. I surrendered. Blessings fell on me because of that. That was back in 2005 and my life has been completely changed since then.
God desires for our faith in Him to be a rock solid foundation and believe that He will do whatever it takes to have that happen in our lives. My faith growing up was not strong. I thought that because I was good that was enough. It was a faith from my parents, my church, and expectations I put on myself. Not one of those is a faith that pleases God. He desires my faith to be my own faith and to be completely centered in Him. And trust me; whatever it takes for you to get that kind of faith is worth the ride, whatever the cost.
This has been my theme verse since being in Malawi. Let it encourage you. Let it force you to examine your own faith. Let it force you to love as God loves you. Be changed because of your faith.
Galatians 5:6 “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”
