I've started this blog several times… The song "How do you solve a problem like Maria" from the Sound Of Music keeps playing in my head only the words are "How do you explain something like Training Camp"… I don't even know how to begin to explain how one week changed my life as much as last week did.
Training Camp is a little like Narnia, you go in and and a few minutes seem like days and days seem like weeks and a week feels more like a month or two. In Narnia you go in and a lifetime of things can happen but only a few minutes pass. That is what Training Camp is like, I went in for 7 days but so much has changed in my life it feels impossible that it was only for 7 days. In Narnia, you battle and grow, Training Camp.. the same thing. I battled personal demons, I grieved losses I was unaware I even had, and I grew exponentially. 
Many of you are prepping for Training Camp in July and devouring every Training Camp blog you can, no judgment, I was totally that girl. Here's the thing, all that I read nothing could have prepared me for what took place. It wasn't sleeping on a bus, or eating some weird food, or cold showers, although all those things happened. It was God. He changed me. Here is the thing about Training Camp you have to be open. You have to seek after God and if you do… oh mylanta… you will be forever changed. Because the God who is pursuing you will meet you when you go after Him.
I'll never forget my first night there, during worship all I kept saying was "Jesus, change me, heal me." My squad mentor, Hope, came over and spoke to me. It confirmed, God heard me and He was going to change me this week. We were challenged and spoken to about things I had never really thought about. As I opened up to the lessons, and teachings I heard, God peeled layer after layer off of my flesh. He revealed buried hurts and losses, He spoke healing into my life. Things I had struggled with letting go. I was able to let go. So often we have a cognitive understanding of God. I knew God had forgiven me on a brain level; but my heart, it could not feel the forgiveness. The enemy plagued me with doubts, accusations, lies, and I bought them – hook, line, and sinker. That ended last week, God forgave me and after hours, and days of crying (mind you not the pretty I have tears streaming down my face the UGLY cry: snot, wails, heaves, tears.. all of it). Truth was spoken to me and I listened not with my ears but with my heart. Here is what I learned at Training Camp. I AM REDEEMED!!!! Some of you are saying, "duh" but there is such freedom in knowing that at a heart level. Some of you are plagued with guilt and shame daily, there is freedom in the Lord. You are REDEEMED! He loves you and has forgiven you. We can know that at a cognitive level but knowing it on a heart level changes everything.
I have so much more to share about Training Camp, and there will be at least one more blog but I wanted to share this first piece with you now.
