"Do you trust me" – Aladdin
"What?!" – Jasmin
"Do YOU trust ME?" – Aladdin
"Yes!" – Jasmin
"Then JUMP!" – Aladdin
And out a window they jump…
"Do you trust Me?" – God
"What???…" – Me
"Do You trust ME?" – God
"yes.."- Me
" Then JUMP!" – God
"um… what???" – Me
I wish I could say I jump right out the window without another "um…what?" moment. But if you're anything like me… sometimes God says something and your first response is "um…what?" That's been me the last couple of weeks. Several weeks ago I posted about fear… what happens when you start to let go of the fear is God starts asking, "Do you trust Me?" Sometimes our first response is not a "Heck Yes!" It's more like, "I'm sorry can you repeat that I'm not sure I heard you correctly." Then He repeats it and you answer with a "Yes" (but where is this going?) thought process. The He tells you what He wants you to do, and you're back to "um… what??".
That has been me. Following Jesus isn't always easy or fun. Sometimes He asks you to do things that you don't understand, or don't want to do. I was asked to put something down that I had been carrying it had become a distraction. God wanted me to put it down. I fought it. I thought what would it hurt. I was scared to put it aside. It wasn't bad. There wasn't anything wrong with it from a world stand point or really any stand point but God wanted me to give it up. I fought. I questioned. I cried. I was angry. Monday I wrestled with God. One of those all night can't sleep we will talk this out conversations. It was tough. I knew what I needed to do… but it hurt. And He asked me, "Do you trust Me?" Bottom line is I do trust God. I trust my father to give me what I need not always what I want though.
See a couple of weeks ago I had a dream. Now for some of you this is not a big deal. You dream. I don't dream. If I do I don't remember them. This dream was vivid. It was a glimpse of what can/will/could be, if I'm obedient and trust that God has my back. In the dream and right after waking all I could think was…"So this is how it's supposed to be" I said this in my last blog not being obedient to God is a thousand times scarier than being outside of God's will. I was reminded of that as I wrestled with Him this week.
I'm not going to lie y'all, this was a rough week. Super tough. You know about my Monday. Tuesday I was obedient. I did what I was asked to do. That alone was tough but see, when you're obedient the Devil sees this and he will try and discourage you and make it even harder to follow through. Wednesday was super tough. Silly stupid things happened, I dropped my phone and shattered part of the glass, I scratched my car door (the one I'll be selling in 1.5 months), and work was crazy stressful. I questioned if I had done the right thing. God asked me again, "Do you trust Me?" Thursday came and went, still tough, but a little easier. Friday came it was crazy busy but it was a little easier. All the while, I'm hearing about what is going on in Boston, and what has happened an hour and a half north of me in West, Texas. I was reminded that my bad stuff, stressful stuff, is really not all that big of a deal.
God reminded me yesterday, "and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28 NKJV)
God will work all the crazieness out. He will help me get the funds I need. Move out of my apartment on time. He will take care of it. I just have to trust Him.
"Do you trust Me" – God
"Yes!" – Me
"Then Go!" – God
And so I go!
