Every Friday night here in Nepal, we have a service called “Shabbat Shalom”. This is a time where we worship, have a sermon, have a testimony and just let the Spirit do whatever He pleases in the night. We fill in a living room area with 50 World Racers, Nepali believers and sometimes some other people from other countries around the world. It is a time where we become one in the Kingdom of Christ.
I promise you it is a sight to see.
Let me back up a little bit. Throughout this whole month, I have struggled with hearing from the Lord, but the most frustrating part is that this month I have craved to hear from the Lord more than I ever have. I have been seeking and seeking and heard nothing. I may have heard something once or twice this whole month of seeking and searching for Him. Saying I have been irritated at Jesus is a little bit of an understatement at times.
I was a little irritated through this month cause He is being so silent yet I am seeking His voice and craving His voice more and more each day.
Now let’s get back on track with what happened last night…
At Shabbat Shalom we were worshiping to some good jams. We sang “Set a Fire” (which I realized is my theme song of this month) and “Shout to the Lord” as well as some other rockin’ worship songs. (Yes, I did just say rockin’)
In the past when I have searched for the Lord, I see visions or pictures. I was hoping for even a picture at this moment even though I have been wanting to hear the Lord in different ways. I feel like to be more intimate with the Lord is to find different ways to speak to Him but also to hear from Him.
I was getting frustrated at the beginning of worship because I doubted what the Lord could do that night. I was thinking that I could just sing the songs and yet again the Lord would just pass over me and show someone else something amazing and just leave me in the dust.
Oh me of little faith.
After just singing to sing and going through the motions, the Lord hides everything and shows me a picture. It is the best vision/picture I have seen since being on this race.
All I could see is a little girl laughing joyfully running to Jesus, who is on one of his knees with arms stretched out ready to embrace the child. When she gets to Him, she jumps up in his lap and snuggles in His arms. In a gentle voice, He is repeating the saying, “I am so proud of you and love you so much.” He kept repeating it and the child kept looking at Him in awe and joy. Then, it was like I was looking on the side, observing what just happened and I walk over to see who the little girl is and all I could see is myself as a little girl. I was probably around 5 years old. He then looks up at me and says, “Don’t you trust me to take care of you and hold you in my arms like this?”
I didn’t want to open my eyes because I was scared I would leave that place with the Lord as a child. It was so comforting to be in and a safe place to see. As I opened my eyes with hesitation, I became overwhelmed with a comfort like never before. I have been craving to not only hear from the Lord but let Him be my comfort.
Guys, He shows up in the right times, even if we don’t think it is right.
That night when I was going to bed, I became very sad. Tears were streaming down my face as I was trying to go to sleep. As I was in a distressed mood, the Lord brought up the same picture but slightly different. Instead of the little girl laughing with Jesus, she was crying in His arms and He kept repeating in His gentle voice, “I am here and I love you.”
The tears started to become lighter and lighter. I finally got to a place where I was overwhelmed by His comfort that I have been searching for so long.
At the beginning of every month, I usually hear a word for the month. This month is was “growth” and I knew that this month was gonna be a game changer for the race. Last night was the game changer for me.
He keeps reminding me to have a child like faith and run to Him with joy and laughter. I need to run to Him knowing that He will not let anything happen to me that He is not there to help me through. He is there constantly through each and every moment.
I have more of a spirit to thank the one who is always willing to hold me and comfort me in the good and bad times.
If you look at a child, they are fearless sometimes and other times all they want to do is run into their parents arms. They run to their parents when they are happy and just want to be around them or when they are sad and needs comfort. I remember doing that to my parents. I remember when I was sad I would run to one of them and I would also run to them with utter joy and just want to be embraced by their love.
That is exactly what our relationship with the Lord should be each and every day. We need to want to be around our parent when we are overwhelmed with joy and even when the bad days come and we want comfort. He is there constantly and will never leave your side. He never will, even when it seems like He is overlooking you or when you think He doesn’t hear you. He does and His timing is perfect.
I am learning more and more about his perfect timing each and every day on the race. Some days are definitely more frustrating than others, but His timing to perfect. But depending and trusting the one who knows the best plan for me is what keeps me trekking on. It is a daily trek and a daily searching and seeking for the Lord.
He is ever so present in comforting me through the good and bad days. I am just thankful for a God that embraces me as a child and comforts me through all of the hard days.
“And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:2-4
