Desperate for love :
During the season of my crush, God opened my eyes to all the hope I held onto, when my mind was made up and my desire had set in.
I want to write this part of what I went through, because I believe many of us woman go through this, ESPECIALLY when it comes to "finding" our husbands.
It's funny when we are single and every man we meet, we immediately contemplate if this could be the "one". As if the only purpose men have in our life is to be the "one". It may sound absurd, but I do believe that the community and family in Christ we have, includes brothers in Christ, which is a foreign concept to my mind, but makes sense more and more as God purifies my thoughts in this area. Men may actually play a different part in my life even if they aren't the ones designed to be my husband.
Back to my crazy thoughts about my crush, I realized that in this time my beliefs in signs had significantly increased. I know these signs are ridiculous and slightly embarrassing, but felt the need to share haha.
The false signs and lies I held onto when I was crushin :
1. We are wearing the same colored shirt two days in a row, it's meant to be.
2. My favorite song is on his playlist, this must be the man I have been waiting for.
3. Every kid I meet has his name, this is Gods confirmation.
4. We love the same countries and our favorite month on the race is the same. This must mean God is going to bring us closer together, obvi more confirmation.
5. He stood by me at worship, Gods totally bringing him closer to me to show him my heart for The Lord.
6. He sat by me at the bonfire, this is his undercover way of pursuing me.
7. He doesn't email me during the month because its just TOO darn hard for him to contact me, because he knows he can't date on the race so after the race it will be different.
I'm sure there are many more but these are the ones I thought of.
I don't know if you have seen the movie he's just not that into you, but that's the wake up call I needed. Because, I would hold onto all these lies or make exceptions to why he wasn't pursuing me, when the truth is he just wasnt that into me. I dont know why it's so hard to accept that hard truth. My fear of rejection or never meeting a man that is a good match for me set in. Or even worse I was getting attention and was afraid his was the only chance and opportunity I have, I better not screw it up or I am doomed. I finally met a man who loves The Lord and has my same sense of humor and I held onto him as if he is the only one God had created with those two characteristics. I wanted what I wanted and regardless of what God was trying to tell me I clung to all the hope I could.
I am so thankful that God knocked the sense back into me on the timing he did. Because if it would have been two months later, I would have been anxious about if he would pursue me after the race and so incredibly bummed at the realization of him not. And the time I had with my family would have not been the same. My focus would have been completely different and on me, instead of sharing with them the amazing things God had shown me. I would have been heart broken and having to get over my false expectations of whom I thought my husband to be was, and dealing with the reality of him actually being someone I didn't keep much contact with .
I want to write this because I don't believe I am the only one that holds on to hope in areas that are misleading and false. When the hope we should hold onto is Christ himself.
Truth is Christ is the only one that lasts, and the only one that can be trusted. Truth is the man that is your husband will pursue you and you won't have to question his intentions.
To the women out there who are holding on to false hope stop, because the crush your holding on to may be someone else's husband and may prolong you from seeing the man that is truly pursuing you.
Men out there, make sure your intentions are clear, especially for the woman you want to pursue. Pray diligently about this woman and follow Gods lead.
It's after this that I realized how desperate for love I am. How much I have not fully accepted Christs love as enough and truly letting it overflow into my heart.
Our culture is so desperate for love but we look for it in all the wrong ways. We try to get in shape and wear revealing clothes to get attention that we mistake for love and acceptance .
We date, cheat, have sex outside of marriage, all for a desire to be known, loved, understood, and accepted. The sad thing is that we already are known, loved, understood and accepted beyond our comprehension, but we don't accept it, and search for it everywhere else. We settle to be with men who don't truly love us, who hurt us, because we are so afraid to let go and believe that this is the only love we will experience, so we accept it. And even believe that's all we are worth. But that is such a lie and so untrue.
We are so blind to what true love looks like. I pray that God would show you His true love more now than you have seen before. I pray that you would be able to see and understand the worth He has given and sacrificed for you.
I pray that you would believe 1 Peter 2: 9 but you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood. A holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
Love you praying this will also bring freedom and healing:)!
XOXOXOXOXOXO,
Amie Gallegos
Ps If you ever need prayer or someone to talk to you can always email me at[email protected]!!
